What keeps you from giving up

Same for me, I am just living to make my parents happy.

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My bunny friend relies on me. I need to be here to take care of her and make sure sheā€™s happy.

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I try not to think too far ahead. Just put one foot in front of the other.

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Willpower, and the belief that things may get better.

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My family. Last night I was really low and thinking of ending things. My dad and brother were there for me.

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My GF, my cat, and my family especially my nephews. Theyā€™ve already seen their father and grandmother (my mom) die, I donā€™t want to add to the list.

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Things are going quite good personally. All I have to do is avoid grain and limit dairy, on top of my regimen, and Iā€™m basically snug as a bug in a rug.

Recovered so hard. Iā€™m like 85% okay right now.

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It could be argued that if you smoke you already have given up! :wink:

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I donā€™t knowā€¦ Iā€™ve wondered thisā€¦ Itā€™s probably the medication Iā€™m on? Less suicide ideation? Because Iā€™m isolating myself and have a hard time getting out of bed, but I get out and work, cook, do groceries, cleanā€¦ watch videos on youtubeā€¦

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Genuinely it might be stupidity

But I also like to think things can improve.

It also helps that I canā€™t die

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My wife and my family and my dogs and friends. At times I get pretty damn low but I donā€™t let anyone see it and thereā€™s no way Iā€™m going to hurt the people I love and that love me. Yeah I think of ending it but thats selfish.

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The strong belief and undesirability that I will go back in time and re-experience the restart of my life from 2012 onward with a refresh version of schizophrenia where things are probably worse and I might not make it this far ā€“ (Edge of Tomorrow feelings).

Itā€™s like insanity + quantum nudging of neurons which brings about unpredictability + quantum events that barely change and are not in my favor I think.

I experienced this all too often.

I never accepted or my mind ā– ā– ā– ā– ā– ā– ā–  imploded on itself and fell to the ground around 2011 and shattered all over the floor in a beautiful/ugly metaphor.

Only explanation is a higher power doing it. I donā€™t think schizophrenia is curable unless cosmic intervention lol.

I never figured it out why I cannot go back in time unless itā€™s a paradox or Iā€™m a doppleganger or somethingā€¦my brain told me Iā€™m trapped via mind uploading technology in a loop. It sucks.

Itā€™s so absurd and unbelievable, it borders on boring and offensive and crazy.

Imagine quantum immortality but in the wrong direction ā€“ arrow of time loops back to 2012 about. I often have thought about Mayan Prophecy and Simulation Theory but what are the odds of that? Slim and none and practically zero.

Occamā€™s Razor is my new friend.

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For a decade, I attempted suicide many, MANY times. I was so distraught that I couldnā€™t even do that successfully. So, I changed my attitude.

I want to live. My hope is that Iā€™ll be able to travel, again.

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Itā€™s my mother honestlyā€¦Her mother and HER mother offed themselves because of the era having no meds and had Major Depressive Disorder so we thinkā€¦and I also lost 2 friends to gunshot suicidesā€¦But yet I am getting closer and closer to letting go and just dying.,ā€¦I am terrified yet it brings me peace. Iā€™m 34 now. Have had schizophrenia since sage 2/2.5 according to doctors etcā€¦So, I am tiredā€¦and no, I cannot take a single antipsychotic because I hasve life-threatening reactions. So yeah, I feel really really screwed hereā€¦

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When in the grips of suicidal thoughts sometimes itā€™s just listening to music that keeps me going, and utilizing my support system.

-S

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The reason I smoke is for distraction.

Music and reading helps.

:hugs:

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Music, cigarettes and self determination. If I had to list three, that would be it. A fourth would be faith.

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My family, my dogs, and a never ending delusion that if I kill myself in a violent manner, and donā€™t follow my lifeā€™s plan I will forever be stuck in an artificial world that I canā€™t prove is real.

No life, no release.

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