Could we have a thread where anyone who’s in therapy and has found it useful shares what they learned that was important to them and their recovery? For example, things I’m learning right now in therapy…
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My constant fears and paranoia that I’ve had since as long as I can remember could have been established since I was in a house with a very angry dad and a mom who couldn’t stop him. I never established my “safety anchor” or whatever you want to call it, I never had my parents in a protective role, and my therapist said if you can’t feel safe in your own home it’s hard to feel safe anywhere.
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I base WAY too much of my self-worth on the praise of others. If not everyone likes me or I don’t get constant praise I feel like crap and that’s not ok. I need to develop a self image independent of other people’s opinions.
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I have issues with constant rage partially because of my overactive threat system, but also because throughout my life everyone who was supposed to be close to me or care about me was oblivious to my suffering or ignored it. My anger and bitterness/hatred does not make me an evil person or a monster and I should accept my anger instead of demonizing myself for it and the things it makes me fantasize about.
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I fake a lot of my interactions and have spent a lot of my life faking in order to hide the mess in my head. This causes me to be very lonely.
Anyways those are just some important things I learned. In short, don’t ignore how the past may have effected you, don’t base your self worth on other’s opinions, don’t make yourself feel guilty for negative feelings instead try to understand them, and in the end pretending to be ok when you’re not can have very serious consequences.