money to take a vacation, buy healthier food, or make home improvements
a hobby that keeps me interested
a part time job so I don’t have so much free time
one more I can think of that I won’t mention
what it’s not missing is a social life, I mean I would like to be able to interact with people at work, but the party and gathering days are behind me.
A partner, a few more good friends, a feeling of safety and trust, faith that i am good enough, a past that im proud of, being able to be a better mum (> important) and person.
What it is NOT missing is loving kid and family, a few friends, a good home, a decent disability income, a safe country, a physically healthy body.
I feel I have a personality within but it’s not reflected in my life. It’s very stagnant. I used to be a different person so my life did as well. I was fun and stable and social and passionate and skilled.
Honestly I am quite content. I used to struggle with not accepting myself especially things like not being interested in an intimate relationship or that I am more than comfortable with my own company.
But I suppose I could make better financial decisions but I’m still not doing too bad.
The number one thing my life is missing is self-confidence. If I had more self-confidence, other aspects of my life would improve. So that’s what my life is missing.
My sister raised me like a mother. Read me stories, cooked me dinners, talked to me about life and love… she was my best friend and we talked on the phone for hours & hours every week. She died in 2012. My real mother is still alive but she is not very loving considering she left my raising to her oldest child and basically ignored me because I was a 3rd girl when she wanted a boy.
I miss my sister. She was only 38 and I didn’t even have a diagnosis yet so my mind was in a very bad place when she died. I think she would love to see how successful I’ve been since my diagnosis. I’ve published a book, I work part time and now have a vast social circle of very wonderful friends who love everything about me. I’ve broken out of my circle of my sisters and one friend and add many other good genuine people.
I’d have loved my sister to have lived to see me recover from this disease