What is your dream life and career?

To be a published author

1 Like

Something with math although I donā€™t do anything right now. My mind feels shut off, but Iā€™m sort of glad that I saved my self the embarassment of not doing investment banking or trying. Great money and eventually going into private equity or hedge fund work, but Iā€™m more of an equations or math guy but was never that good enough to win medals in a tournament or competition and was never good enough to be an actuary, quant, or phd holder. I couldnā€™t even finish a BA degree in math mainly because the schizophrenia developed my senior year and it was pretty severe and Iā€™m still not recovered. In some ways my symptoms tanked and worsened but in other areas Iā€™m doing better. No panic attacks or anxiety anymore. Iā€™m content and happy.

I never took a marketing class, but I cannot even do simple creative ā– ā– ā– ā–  anymore I would probably flunk out of drop out of a marketing class. I cannot sell ā– ā– ā– ā– . I cannot manage people. I cannot do anything.

If things were different I should have joined the navy and did nuke school but that probably wouldnā€™t have worked out because I feel stupid too in hindsight, I was childish, and I have the genetics of schizoaffective disorder I guess.

Iā€™ve been watching navy videos and I once was interested in navy ocs in college but it never worked out. I had a good work ethic and good endurance so you never knowā€¦

Maybe Iā€™ll tutor on the side for extra dough. Maybe Iā€™ll be a college professor some day at a low to mid tier university I donā€™t know. It all depends if the ā€œpowers that beā€ let me. They ruined my life.

When I was younger I wanted to open a funky coffeehouse and bookstore, where Iā€™d play Miles Davis and talk to people all day.

It still sounds pretty good to me. :coffee: :books:

4 Likes

I had my dream life before I got sick. Helicopter pilot. Wanted to be an astronaut but I wasnā€™t smart or good enough for that but flying helicopters was pretty cool. I even flew in combat.

Now I want to buy a franchise delivering healthy and fresh pet food. I have to get approved for a loan though. I donā€™t have a hundred grand lying around.

My credit score went up 18 points today so making progress.

7 Likes

I want my book to be discovered and I can have movie offers over the phoneā€¦hahahaā€¦dreamerā€¦silly little dreeeeamerā€¦oh but I do dream.

2 Likes

I wanted to be a famous music producer but my songs were mediocre at best and then I got sz

2 Likes

My dream job is a Dr. I had very high grades but not in practical courses. Sz makes the brain cognition unbalanced, very high in some areas while very weak in others.

2 Likes

My practical intelligence took the biggest hit by sz.
Practical like physiotherapy labs, emergency care, creating complex exercise training programs etc I had some Aā€™s like in physiology and biomechanics but I needed Aā€™s in all my courses. I still got my degree in kinesiology though.

1 Like

I donā€™t want a career in my dream life, I just want to lounge around and enjoy life now. I would like to live in a hotel with a casino and spend my days swimming and playing and going to restaurants. Basically I want to be on vacation for the rest of my life.

1 Like

I think either being a chef in a small but high end restaurant or a successful travel photographer would have been nice. That being said, Iā€™m pretty happy with what Iā€™ve been granted. Married to a wonderful woman and raised a great kid. Manage to make it through most months and still have some money left. Life is pretty good.

2 Likes

At least you got that damn degree. It means something. I never went back. I tried one time but I just kept getting progressively worse. I have a severe case like yours I think but you did it. I think my school put me in some mind control mk ultra type thing and so Iā€™ll never go back and always feared it. I think thatā€™s part of the problem. If that never happened to me, I might not even be schizophrenic and would have made a full recovery in my opinion. ā– ā– ā– ā–  it. I have the memories. But my cards were dealt.

I have enough money and people go to war over money so I donā€™t want any money. My gut instinct says to drop it and the amount of money I could theoretically get would be in the millions but I donā€™t care. I rather just live in peace and be happy.

Honestly, Iā€™m more pissed off at the stupid treatment I got at the mental hospital because I remember it better and it felt worse. Thereā€™s nothing worse than being treated and being told youā€™re mentally ill and nothing happened when thatā€™s the farthest thing from the truth. Itā€™s seriously medical malpractice, hippocratic oath violation, and munchaussen by proxy. Thatā€™s my opinion and thatā€™s how I feel. I told them everything and Iā€™ve said everything and more (possibly too much) on these forums over the years.

Maybe it was solely or 100% aliens but Iā€™m not buying it right now. I heard other peopleā€™s stories and I have memories. Maybe itā€™s 50-50 half alien and half human project. I donā€™t know. My story isnā€™t straight and some experiencerā€™s testimony I watched on gaia tv would put me into the Reptilian category of things. I believe and have met several reptilians and might have anunnaki or alien dna myself. I donā€™t care what people say.

1 Like

Yea but I canā€™t do anything with it, I canā€™t work or even volunteer. I stay in bed all day. My intelligence is all wasted. Sz caused me several problems including aggressivity. I can lower my meds dosage to improve my negative symptoms but then I get more aggressive causing problems for others and myself. Idk how I will be on Vraylar, I think I will be aggressive just like on Abilify but not sure. I will still try it.

Did you ever have anger and aggressivity issues? With or without meds.

I have less aggression and anger on meds including Vraylar. Iā€™m pretty calm and relaxed.

1 Like

What meds did you try? Which ones were the best to reduce aggression?

1 Like

Iā€™d like to be a porn star.

1 Like

I found that strong sedating meds like Risperdal reduced my aggression the most but they cause more negative symptoms.

Agreed. I wanted one, but circumstances always conspired against me. Now itā€™s too late in the game, methinks. Iā€™d never recover the investment.

2 Likes

Tried a lot. Canā€™t recall all of them. Abilify caused addictions but it wasnā€™t that bad.

I can only recommend Vraylar.

1 Like

Thanks, I will try it once its out, hopefully it works.

1 Like

Have you tried Latuda? I donā€™t know. It didnā€™t work for me. Same thing with Caplyta. They should help with negatives, right?

1 Like