I don’t know if I necessarily want anarchy in this over-crowded society whilst also having debilitatibg sz. I long for total freedom though
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I think the meds are working, keeps the paranoia at bay which is my biggest issue along with persecution delusions. This was just my half serious half joking but not really delusion. Bit of psychosis last night seeming to come from an arguement and missunderstanding with the wife. I just dont tolerate stress well and that always seems to be the outcome. But as long as paranoia is at bay and delusions and hallucinations are mild and manageable im happy. Took my meds and rdy for the day to play out as it may. The show must go on!!!
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Longing for individuality dont make you a “anachist”
Typical: Truman show. Most of the time does not interfere with my life. At particularly stressful times can take over my life. Like today… 3am and I am checking with you guys that the sh… in my head is just exactly it: sh… thank you for sharing your post, it has put me down to earth…
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@47average I use pdoc for psychiatrist, just doc otherwise.
what the pdoc says are my delusions - grandiose that I am the guardian of spirits in limbo. That I am chosen to be a warrior at the end of times. That I am being watched and studied. That cigarettes help keep the government from controlling my mind like all the rest of the world. That everyone else is living in a matrix and I am the only one that can see the truth. I could go on… I have many.
my favorite truth - I can will fish to come to me. It’s a fact. When we used to go fishing I would tell them to come and they came in droves, everyone was catching boatfulls that day.
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I believe that if I close my eyes while I’m a passenger in a car, or if I take my eyes off the road, the driver won’t be able to see the road either and we’ll crash. I know it’s silly but I can’t not think about it every time I’m a passenger. Even if I’m exhausted and need to sleep, I force my eyes to stay open so the driver can see.
I have others but that one is my favorite. The meds help somewhat but not completely.
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My delusions are all spiritual, and coming from Christianity and Islam.
I feel I am controlled telepathically for my own good and for the good of others. I dont have a choice and If I go agianst the controlling Me and my family will be punished in this life and after death. It has disabled me for twenty years, meds have relieved me of suicidal ideation and feeling hell in my soul.
Mine also come from Christianity but it’s kept me sane through the voices…
I am a prophet sent to speak God’s word to the world but not through my mouth but through my thoughts… when I think something it gose out to angels who deliver them to humans or the people on the radio can hear the special messages I get when reading the Bible… It keeps my thoughts positive even when the voices are against my beliefs about God…
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For me the truth is stranger than fiction. It’s hard to gauge just how far my perceptions are accurate. Some things are really blowing my mind.
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There have been many, some more common like telepathic ability, various degrees of thought insertion, persecution/being followed/being watched/being hacked/general paranoia, some moments of delusions of bodily control.
I think the most far-reaching delusion, but perhaps also the most difficult one to grasp for others, was that everything I encountered was a dream - but mysteriously though, I found it crucial to stress that I was living in what was someone else’s dream, not my own, this was very clear to me at the time. Now I can remember some stuff from that episode, but it is tough to make sense of this importance of it being someone else’s dream. I can perfectly understand people not getting that part of it, but leaving it out, reducing it to an experience of an ordinary dream would not do justice to the experience. I think this is an example of a delusion that is not merely false, but beyond that, it seems there isn’t a possibility in the world that this could ever be true, unlike, persecution - and yet I found these words appropriate. I can feature in my own dream, and have a (recollected) experience of that, and I could be told to have featured in someone else’s dream, but there is no way imaginable I would have a personal recollection of experiencing that. Well, except in SZ ofcourse 
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Living in someone else’s dream sounds horrible, is it over?
My worst delusion was that everyone didn’t exist, that is was just me and different versions of me and that I was basically all alone in “real existence”.
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At that time I was wavering between insight, delusion, or both simultanously, and these attitudes seemed to have become themes in the delusion itself or something like that - just a mess really, trying hold on to what was once familiar but no longer so. It was very scary since nothing that happened in that moment was left unaffected by that delusion, and since this was so all-encompassing, I was not sure my memories of past, sane times, were even relevant or relatable to that moment. It was truly some messed up limbo. Paradoxically, this dreamlike character of it all, did take some edge off it, after all, it wasn’t real. But there was no longer an ‘outside’, I was no longer sure whether anything had ever been real. It was at it’s strongest one night I was in a hostel abroad, having locked myself into a service-staircase, with no way out except a window on the fourth floor.,.
A mix of derealization and delusion, scary stuff.
At one point I believed my dreams had a link to reality, and reality seemed like a dream too. But my own, not someone else’s. But I understand the part about memories and being sane, it didn’t add up to the persistent “reality”
I think my worst delusion was thinking that people were trying to get me to commit suicide.
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Yeah, that too…
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My so called delusion to everybody else is that y’all are the experimenters attempting to obtain a rediculous amount of grant money through your intentional stress producing antics and lack of privacy on someone with a MI label, whom you know will automatically be discredited if they talk to others.
The unfortunate thing is, I’ve somehow agreed to participate, due to a mistake from a set up that back fired on me, because I knew it was being done to me, but I played along not thinking it might not be wise.
This was in a very remote future, that by court order, I could come back to the ‘me’, travel to the past, and relive my horrible existence, with all of y’all making the most of the horrible part by destroying every single thing
I know and love.
Everything.
All do is touch something, and, within a few days, it completely unravels and disintigrates.
That and the fact that since everything familiar is a cheap imitation of what it once was, a ‘crookedy’ imposter, not too unlike the people I thought I knew not being the real person, but a creepy hologram of a partial bit of knowledge they stole from my memory implanted into this almost life like creation, but it just can’t remember the details well enough to convince me.
Did I mention I must have been Shanghai’d off to Mars with a one way ticket and hologram companion? It’s just too quiet around here and I’m not allowed to dig in the dirt for some reason, my guess is it’s because the dirt will reveal it’s red color…
All the people and cars I see amount to the same dozen running loops on the tracks, and I don’t understand why I can’t leave the house before 6PM.
Then it’s "outside"until 11PM, like it or not, never home before 11PM?
It’s because they are desperately trying to make my house and environment “look” like home on earth, but it never does, the house is listing east-south by a couple of inches every day, light comes inside at odd angles like the solstice at Stonehenge, maybe a celestial calendar of some sort.
I’m never convinced and just wait my short time left to do what I think I 'm supposed to and be free from this irritating world of perpetual misery.
I know that you know, I know, you know.
yeah, and thanks y’all, just remember,
“Teamwork gets results”
Aren’t you glad you asked?
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I guess we have something in common. I’m glad that delusion is gone.
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I thought people can communicate using brain.
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There’s a man called Alien who lives in my brain and he either talks to me or inserts his thoughts into my head. Sometimes he’s silent, but I know he’s always there waiting to attack me.
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