Schizophrenia.com

What is wrong with me?

I’d give the hotline a try. Does your family help with the bills at all? Could they help you see a private pdoc?

I am on hold at the moment. Hopefully it won’t be too long

Nope I am responsible for all my bills.

Going to see a private pdoc I could pay for out of the limited disability payment I get each month.

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I think it would do you good to get with a therapist or psychologist and maybe have a appointment at least once a week. That way you have a professional that can relate to you and you don’t have to go through all these bad feelings alone.

Talk to your doctor and ask for thetapist/psychologist, and tell that you think it will make a huge difference.

Use the hotlines and this forum for all it’s worth until you get settled. We are all in this together.

Focus on staying calm and collected even though I know it is difficult. Take a hot cuppa and relax. I hope your mood improves soon.

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I’m sorry it would be so expensive for you. I hope you get this all worked out soon

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Maybe you should see if you can start meeting with a therapist. That might help you

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Sounds like depression.
I hope you snap out of it soon @FadeToBlack

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I also think its depression. Talk about what you told us to your psychiatrist asap.

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I have expanded on the above by explaining how often certain things are bothering me

My pdoc is doing a phone review tomorrow at 2:30pm - it was supposed to be on the 27th, but he moved it.

Not sure I deserve it.

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Suicidal ideations are always cries for help. Your coordinator is right. But the question is, what is he doing about it? Just leaving you hanging?

Do you have any specific suicide plans? If you do, I’d suggest you call 911 or a Suicide Hotline like right now.

Usually I wouldn’t say anything about this kinda thing, but the intensity and continuous ruminating about it isn’t healthy at all.

Hopefully the pdoc can do something about it

I read it can be caused by meds, so he’ll have to determine this

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I’m glad your provider will talk to you tomorrow. And you do deserve it

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Hang in there, man. Would throwing on your favorite music help at all? Maybe find a nice quiet park to walk in (I realize it’s winter, but getting out of the house could help). Maybe a favorite funny TV show? Sorry you’re going through this.

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@Tulane , I remember the years when I was suicidal, the last thing I wanted to do was watch a comedy. I was literally unable to laugh.

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There are some shows that make me laugh always, even when I’m feeling down. Not many, maybe 1-2 shows – but they help when I’m feeling depressed. But I get your point, sometimes when suicidal ideation creeps in, nothing is funny. And that’s when it gets scary.

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Most of that is typical of schizophrenia. The first thing that came to my mind is: are you doing anything for fun or entertainment? It seems that you do your job and then come home and stew about your problems.Which a lot of us do.

It might be good to do something in-between jobs for fun to rest your brains. Go somewhere and get a little space. Get out in nature. It ain’t going to solve all your problems but it might help. I used to have a therapist who based his whole method on encouraging his clients to do something fun once in awhile. He claimed that is what most of his clients had in common, they never have fun. So he encouraged people to have fun.

It made a lot of sense at the time and when I was doing really good in the nineties I think part of my (relative) success was due to I got out a lot and went to movies or the record store or out to eat or going to concerts or shooting pool at the AA club.

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

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I get you these are all my symptoms as well. You have just described them better.