I am not sure if I just need to ‘snap out of it’. I have tried, but it seems the above is working so hard against me, that I feel like I am fighting a losing battle
You cant medicate yourself out of low self esteem, frustration, confidence, isolation, but they may be the result of a moderate depression, which may be treated.
Maybe try to work on that a bit. Maybe see what kind of purpose you could find or things that make you feel like your doing something positive.
I kind of went a different route and decided to not care about my purpose but to just look at life as a series of experiences both good and bad and to just make the most of each day.
So maybe work on your mindset a bit.
If that doesnt help then maybe see your pdoc about it
I seemed to of made it past the “life is pointless so i just think about suicide in any plan possible to make it look like an accident” stage. I clinged to that thinking for several years.
But i made it out of that darkness and you can too.
Maybe look at your landscaping work as part of your therapy to discover yourself more and listen to podcasts too or something.
I think you should see a therapist also. Medication changes can help, but your symptoms seem to have situational causes, rather than strictly chemical ones. Talking to a therapist can help a lot. Mr. Star goes to a therapist for his PTSD, but as an added benefit, he can also discuss confusing social situations with his therapist and figure out how to proceed.
yeah definitely you need to talk to you pdoc…alo have you got a CPN (community psych nurse) they can help…it seems to me that you would benefit from a stay in a hospital.
Sounds like could be depression. You really need to ask for treatment for this, it’s really impairing your quality of life and function. You deserve better.
I will try the hotline now, but I am not sure what good it will do. Might try and pay for a pdoc privately but it seems hard to find one who will be a prescriber