What is With the Misogyny!?

Oh. I’m sorry, I don’t think any of us remember months-old flags. We have recently started cracking down more severely, though. Things we used to overlook or let slide due to lack of complaints are now being more aggressively moderated.

A few months ago was when everyone was yelling at us to be less heavy-handed, so we tried stepping back. Maybe that is part of the reason we are dealing with this mess now. We just try to make this a welcoming and safe environment for as many people as possible. Sometimes that means we change our approach to things over time.

2 Likes

You know what everybody needs? Some German currywurst topped with german non spicyish curry powder. Hell id make everybody some. I’ve read every comment here. I learned two new words mysgosni? And libric? Idk lol. But y’all need some currywurst :yum::hotdog:

3 Likes

So, just to be clear, do or don’t flag creepy posts in the selfie thread?

1 Like

What’s wrong with giving a female compliments? It sounds to me like you are trying to create offensiveness when none is there.

Do. We are at a zero tolerance point with mysoginy.

3 Likes

I found an in-depth article on the radical incel type of behavior. Not just incel but men who feed into the idea that women are subservient. This is about a guy who used to be a part of one group.

1 Like

It isn’t compliments, it’s creepy, constant, stalker type comments. Too sexual comments. Things that make so.eone feel less of a person. Saying someone looks nice is great.

Saying you think they are smoking hot and would love to date them can be scary for some emotionally vulnerable women. Or even an emotionally stable one. If you wouldn’t say it to your mom or grandmom, it doesn’t need to be said.

Then I realized so e this game so e people say to their mom. Eeeeeep!

3 Likes

There is a lot that gets past me, but, yes, someone who said that would get my hackles up, particularly if it was a younger girl.

2 Likes

I’m not against compliments. But some of you take it overboard. A simple compliment is one thing, being gross is another. I’m not having this conversation with you, though. You think you’re fine then don’t worry. I’ll be sure to flag you when when you’re not. Simple as that.

2 Likes

Intermission

1 Like

We have a process in place that addresses all inappropriate behavior. Flagging. If you feel a reply is misogynistic you should flag it; do not get into an argument with the person who wrote the reply. The Moderators may or may not agree with you, and they make the final decision. We must respect the process.

Personally, I think some statements are clearly misogynistic. For example, “Women are inferior to men.” However, there are statements that some people will feel are misogynistic and some people will not. For example, “I like your new hairstyle.” There are other factors that play a role (member’s history, do the members have a rapport with each other, etc.).

Misogyny is not always black and white.

2 Likes

I also want to reassure most of the guys in he site that we know you’re not all incels. Most of you are very decent and wonderful people. That said, everyone says something dumb occasionally, and it’s okay to own up to and apologize for occasional dumb mistakes. Nobody will think you’re a potential rapist just because you occasionally complain about being lonely or whatever. We know the difference between someone who has occasional sexist thoughts and someone who wants to harm women.

If we flag a post of yours, accept that your post hurt someone and edit it. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It doesn’t mean we hate you. It means that everyone has some sexist thoughts imbedded in themselves because of being raised in a sexist world. Recognizing these thoughts and working to eliminate them is part of growing up.

I myself have some mysoginisic thoughts ingrained in me that I don’t realize exist until someone points them out to me. We all have these moments. It doesn’t make you bad or irredeemable.

6 Likes

What do you ladies do when faced with being talked down to because of being a woman? We all know the name for it on social media, I won’t use it here because, honestly is is a form of misandry which is pretty damn bad, too.

2 Likes

If I could weigh in on the selfie-thread discussion…
I’ve seen some male users comment on almost every female user’s photo, some of which were posted a good while before the comment. This, to me, means there are men here who actively go and look for what they deem attractive females.
The comments in themselves seem innoncent enough - I’ve received some from said males myself. To be honest, it made me uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to say anything as their comments could easily be interpreted as “just being friendly”, and I was scared they’d use that defense should I complain about it.

I realise I have a choice in whether or not I post my pictures, but I wish the afforementioned males would realise this is NOT a dating site, and there’s NO defendable reason for only being nice to attractive females, as it’s clearly some sort of flirting tactic.

6 Likes

Because this is a sz/sza site I never once had a thought about using my photo. Rethinking that choice now, but is that giving up?

I want you to know it’s okay to flag anything that makes you feel uneasy, and we will take it seriously. Certain guys have been abusing the “I was just being friendly” excuse and ruining it for people who actually are genuinely friendly.

If anyone makes a comment that you find uncomfortable, that comment crossed a line. You always have the right to feel uncomfortable. You were not “asking for it” by posting your picture in the first place.

That said, I disagree with posting photos at all, because the internet is a dangerous place and I want everyone to be as protected as possible. But choosing to post a photo does not mean you have to accept abuse and creepy behavior.

6 Likes

I’m noticing an increase in sexist behavior in the selfie thread as well.
Some guys are behaving downright creepy.
Wish they would knock it off.

2 Likes

Giving up what?

Oh, just giving up on keeping a personal pic instead of a flower.

Wait, wait I’m ■■■■■■■ proud to be a housewife!