What is SZ like?

Hey guys, first time posting. It’s great to see a bustling community of support for SZ!

I’ll start by saying as of now, I havent been diagnosed with SZ. The thing is, I have a fear of it. My uncle had it. Everyone around me seems rather convinced (including my current psychiatrist, though I’m on my way to getting a second oppinion) that I am suffering from new onset, severe depression and anxiety. The big issue for me is I cannot readily identify any psychosis, but I definitely question myself due to the fear of it. Its been quite agonizing at times. The only positive symptom I can seem to think of is when im near or just waking up from sleep, sometimes I get these “Loud” thoughts. I had severe insomnia lasting months before being put on Olanzapine, and one night it culminated in a dream like scenario where I heard my dad talking to me. Thing is whenever I experience these things I always have insight into the fact that theyre not real. Ive spooked myself into questioning whether or not Im delusional, usually based on anecdotal things Ive read.

Anyway, If theres one thing im sure of, its that I am definitely dealing with depression and anxiety. Im currently on my second week of Escitalopram 20mg and its starting to help I think, Though my mood and motivation havent really improved. I just thought id ask you guys since your warriors and have been fighting the good fight what your thoughts are.

Looking foreward to hearing from you.

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You have absolutely no reason to worry about having psychosis. None of what you described is similar to psychosis, and hallucinations after waking up (although I don’t think those even are hallucinations) are completely normal. Any perfectly healthy person can get them. We get a lot of people with anxiety who worry about having schizophrenia, and they generally never do. I’d go so far as to say that anxiety about having psychosis among people not diagnosed with psychosis is an indication that you’re not struggling with psychosis.

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Wow, I appreciate such a promt response. I hope I dont sound like Im minimizing it in any way, so forgive me if I came off like that.

No, I’m just being very clear with you about this because if I’m not, my experience tells me that you risk making your anxiety worse. We’ve frequently had to ban people who obsess about having psychosis because we see that they make themselves worse by posting here. There’s absolutely no chance that this is psychosis. But it’s OK to ask what sz is like, so I’m not going to ban you or close this thread.

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my friend and I believe when you have your first hard fall

then your’e full blown schizophrenic

before that you have symptoms that typcially go untreated

if you have them long enough, you just think it’s normal
usually you don’t realize your’e sick

anyway, hope you never get it
and glad you’re getting help for the other things.

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Understood. Thank you.

Thanks for your reply.

I’ve had a lot of racing intrusive thoughts and in my search to find out whats wrong psychosis and SZ, according to the DSM sometimes feels like it fits the bill. Like we all know depression and the negs of SZ are rather close in proximity; so sometimes with the addition of these “loud thoughts” and the babbling “voices” I sometimes get when im near sleep gets me wondering.

yeah, that’s not hallucinations

I guess everybody can get that

there’s a term for it, I forget what it is

it’s like a state you are in right before falling asleep

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Hallucinations near sleep never count. As I said, they’re normal. Google hypnogogic and hypnopompic hallucinations. You don’t have any positive symptoms, which are required to diagnose psychosis.

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Yeah hypnagogic and hypnapompic I think. They just seem to happen so frequently. And the loud thoughts are like babbling, saying nothing and coming from no direction or even from my ears. Strange.

I don’t remember if I ever got loud thoughts that were bothering me

I did automatic running dialogue out of my mouth

maybe I was channeling those thoughts?

hmmm, sounds like your’e disturbed about it.
many can live without meds, or having a label.

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