What is Mania?

No people do not emotionally respond to what I say. I do not make people angry or upset. I do not feel a need for attention. In fact, in my half hour meeting with another psychiatrist, he mentioned I did not seem manic at all, he said I was pleasant. I quote him “I said things that would make a bipolar person angry, but you didn’t seem bipolar so I said it”. Granted the second psychiatrist did not have full access to my file, and I failed to mention to him about the spending habits, but that’s the only missing part. That’s the reason why I am having so much doubts as to my bipolar diagnosis.

Like I mentioned every time I get angry, it usually results from someone doing something wrong in my eyes. Like being rude, or disrespectful for example. I will likely switch to another psychiatrist for a second opinion. Given what you guys said about mania, I am still unconvinced I have any of it. However, I would be more willing to take a mood stabilizer.

I think much would depend on the level of anger displayed to the actual or perceived level of disrespect or rudeness.

It’s the feeling when I want to unzip my chest and let my heart SOAR because my body is too small and limited to contain the energy of my soul. Its when I want to run and dance along the road to my music and when I wish I could FLY. Its when colours are more brighter and sounds more louder.

Wish it happened more often. Usually I feel the opposite - heavy and numb.

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When I get manic, I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to. I stay up for days at a time. I spent 8 hours reading about Harry Potter history online because I was mind blown about it for some reason. At times life seems so much brighter, so much more fulfilling. I get the feeling I can solve the world’s hardest math equations without any prior knowledge in them. Even without sleeping, I feel like I can go for mile long runs even though I’m out of shape. When I’m around people I feel like the life of the party. I want to write novels, I’m constantly flooded with million dollar ideas.

Then there’s the times where my chest feels like it’s collapsing and there’s so much energy that I don’t know what to do with it. There’s so much ideas, that I don’t know where to place them. When I speak, I speak so fast I can’t keep my train of thought. I want to tell everyone I see about all the million dollar ideas I have in my head because it’ll be a waste to keep them in my head.

Sorry for ranting, that’s my experience with mania.