I am Thinking to much,
I am so terrible at it,
this is far as I have got:
Poem:
Let not evil,
Make you live,
But evol,
To love.
I don’t know if its Aripiprazole or the age, how much ever I mas the feeling is not getting low, these days.
This feeling to the opposite is increasing and I confused.
lol I feel like “Malena” the boy .
What is “Love” by the way?
It’s hard to distinguish what the meds do vs age, and how much we’ve changed our outcomes
The only love I have had properly is from family. I’d say it’s the strength of the bond
As for romance, I had one encounter of this, and the love was more lust and I hated it
I started to get dreams too,
yesterday there was war and in the end all where nude and partying in my dream,
It was weird, usually. I dont get to see such dreams, and now I watched a movie called “Book of Love”.
Some thing is pushing me towards the opposite a lot, I always try to decrease the intentions as I was punished a lot and the fear to even express it to some one is hard.
It ssome where in my unconscious mind or sub conscious mind a hurt, so planning to investigate, my mind is just f with me, when ever some young and hot person pass by I get the smell of some thing weird and its not a desire, but an attraction.
That attraction attracts fear in me and cause paranoia too.
I am one big old cat.
Null for me, never have had a romance, fear stops me, f my school teachers.
But the book of love the guy almost resembled me in some portions, like being in a boys institution and all,
I do see family love in my circle which is unconditional.
Are you also hating it due to some reason other than lust ?
It was mere lust no love. This person threw herself at me, and I was very inexperienced at relationships, so I ended it after 3 months, as it was too intense.
In my 35 years, I have never had romance
I think it’s infinite so we’ll never be able to fully define it. Does that mean we should stop exploring it? No. It’s just something to explore and observe forever though we will never fully understand it I think. There will always be more to say about it. Love is perfection.
Love is freedom. This is what I’ve learned.
Oxytocin
15151515
What is love, tis not hereafter?
Present mirth hath present laughter
Bill Shakespeare
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