I’m not just convinced everything is referring back to me, I also think everything is informed by and refers to everything else . So, I’m getting the borders wrong and things bleed into each other.
For eg, every post and username refers to, makes fun of, is intended to respond to, or is meant to undermine me, a post I’ve made, or another post. And also I think that the things I’m writing as well as anything I have seen written here have many shades of specialness and meaning which I’m sure is not real.
So everything is clashing to me, and I accept that as reality without a second thought.
I think I’m “blacking out” all the time.
I also am very anxious and confrontational.
What is a “mixed state”?
Also, can you help me put words to what I’m seeing and feeling?
I’ve been paranoid before and right now I am but it is not the same type of paranoia, because this one now is more like anxiety, agoraphobia, and panicking in public.
SoI go into a situation, or access the forum, entirely certain that I know every conflict and can identify and respond to it and fight and be saucy and annoying and rude and restrained at the right time, but I often end up missing all the right beats, for sure, and that means I come off to others, I think, as a bit obnoxious.
I don’t think any of that kind if behavior is EVER okay but it is a part of my personality right now.
I also feel at times like I am intuiting what other people think, and I believe that that is not likely true because I am at a point where I have failed to do basic arithmetic on paper.
I might do addition or subtraction, but that is it. I can’t coordinate activities right now and I cannot read, because I cannot remember what I’ve read. Even when I speak at length, I do not remember exactly what it was I had just said. In trying to remember that, I will forget what I had been trying to say.,
I am going to take another 100m seroquel right now to hopefully get to sleep and level out tonight.
Sorry if this has been annoying to read if you’ve read it all the way through! I’m not level, I hope we all can be, as a matter of fact, that is what meds are for and I hope we can all continue getting better and bouncing back.
-borders of things blur
-antsy and confrontational
-what is a mixed state?