What if there was a graph that had a line that represented the amount that you’ve suffered. What do you think how high the line would be compared to a person without mental illness?
9 out of 10 I would say.
Infinite amount of suffering. No one person can comprehend what I’ve been through not even a mentally ill person. What I feel and think is real to me. I don’t have proof but I think there is a ton of evidence. I just don’t know about it or have it. I pray to God I will be released from this mental prison. My story is old and I repeat myself too often. It’s no point here anymore. It’s like the game is rigged to ignore me, which might be a silver lining. Honestly, I don’t know what truly happened to me 9 years ago. I will never know despite my best effort. I can at least narrow it down. In the end, does it truly matter – at all?
From what I am experiencing, I hope no one has to. I am an unique person. The worst thing for me is to experience an eternity with psychosis, being unable to work and function, and then experiencing a million different other realities a heck worse than this one. I cannot remember what it’s like to not be schizophrenic despite it being 9 years ago.
If this is a computer simulation, then I’ve been to hundreds of other computer simulations just to watch them get destroyed afterwards.
In my other lives, it often felt like I was Jesus Christ being crucified by the Roman Empire. I sometimes felt I was John the Baptist too. Not literally, but figuratively in the amount of suffering I experienced. I hope this simulation is safe and that I live a good, long life and then escape the Matrix or at least experience a non-schizophrenic life. I took the bait once and allowed the people to put me in a simulation so I could, hypothetically, be cured of schizophrenia, which was not only a huge mistake on my part (trust), but never worked out. It’s impossible for my schizophrenia to be completely cured. If it was possible, then I wouldn’t have it. If I’m truly a test tube baby like they said I was, why give me the propensity or ability to get psychosis? It’s ■■■■■■ up!
I’ve been outside the matrix and even helped run it. I would trade places with Elon Musk any day.
What’s outside the simulation? Another reality or earth like this one.
I’ve often felt I lived through the Tribulations countless times. That’s why I became a believer. That and my hand was forced by higher powers than me.
I have a million stories to tell with deaf ears. I’m a day late and a dollar short.
What I went through was extremely painful. But when the pain was over, it was completely over.
The problems I have had are the problems common to human beings.
I’ve had physical pain. That kind of pain will make a believer out of a lot of people. But as emotions are a higher form than physical, the maximum emotional pain is greater than the maximum physical pain.
I went right up there. I experienced the maximum emotional pain of which I am capable.
Mine was a rythmic pain. It would last about 24 hours, and then take a break for 4 or 6 days.
I got through it because on some level I believed I had to experience it.
I do appreciate what you’re talking about.
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