What if im too prudent?

DX'd - Sz/SzA
1

prudent reasonable discerning levelheaded thoughtful etc
(so says google translate :smiley: )

from time to time when im working with people i cant but not see their weaknesses
its not that im very smart or that i dont make mistakes (after all my sz is deficit sz)
but things they speak or do are so glaringly wrong and im becoming more and more frustrated with them
or they are corrupted by egoistic yearnings or they react without ever thinking or they are quite simply brats

so i have some trouble processing this
did i went so mad that i made full circle and became most prudent of them all
but its not possible to remove log from your own eye especially not if you have deficits

whats going on?

2 Likes
2

its like i can think more thoroughly than most people around me
but at the same time im limited by my symptoms
weird…

2 Likes
4

no its not a big deal
its doesnt stop me from trying to develop deep relationships with people

im more in a search for term that would describe how can somebody be quite stupid for living
and at the same time live profoundly in its own head

5

where did the reply from one of the members went? :thinking:

6

What do you mean by that? Why do you consider your way of living to be stupid?

1 Like
7

I wrote I know that feeling but Its not a big deal

8

Maybe confident?

9

i mean i cant function on my own
incompetent and almost completely incapable to make things like decisions planing or get better in anything
i have no hobbies nor i can have them

you know that maslows hierarchy of needs? well i start failing at the bottom of that pyramid
that pyramid shows just how sick i am

but the worst part is that im fully aware of what COULD be done
i cant plan but i can imagine what SHOULD be done
coulda shoulda woulda …

so im asking myself where this difference between could and should come from
please note that there are no dissonance between my powers and my wishes
since i have very little wishes now (small quiet independent life is all i want)
maybe that wish is still too big?

10

You should be able to support yourself if you wish to live independently…

11

isnt confidence a feeling you have when you know how to live your life (i cant)
and false confidence is when you just think you can live life (i know i cant)

12

exactly that i know
why i can think for myself but cant work for myself?
its like there is a dissonance between what my brain is able to do and what is able to express

13

Since starting CBT and going off meds, I am much more capable of translating my thoughts and wishes into actions.
Maybe you could also try some form of therapy?

14

uh going off ap is not a good idea for me
4th episode will await me just around the corner
gestalt therapy could help me but its not available to me at the moment

but im glad you find your way
translating thoughts and wishes into action is whats missing from my life

15

Every person is different…
If you’ve already had 3 episodes, then yes, it’s a bad idea to go off meds.
Did you try some form of physical exercise?
Running, cycling, biking, or going to the gym?

16

well currently i have huge boost of motivation to work on myself
10000 steps in the morning and home gym in the evening
started just today but been planing for weeks
those bursts of motivation (and will) happens sometimes but they dissipate very soon

2 Likes
17

Well it’s good that you started something.
10k steps is about 4-5 km. Not bad. Hopefully you won’t get bored soon :slight_smile:

You could listen to music while you exercise… to make things more pleasant.

Sending prayers :pray:

1 Like
18

I logged in and saw someone liked one of my replies here, that’s why I’m bumping this oooold topic.
Forget about being prudent! I’ve even managed to go through full blown mania, ended in delirium and nasty depression after all that. Have been abusing meds, especially pregabalin.
I’m now on minimal therapy of 5mg olanzapine and 40mg of fluoxetine and I have a job, paying bills and stuff. Functional, responsible, realistic etc
Life goes on.
Cognitives aren’t solved yet, but with the help of nootropics I might be able to ameliorate those domains too (I will have enough money in about two months, it’s not cheap and it must be bought from one USA online shop)
Good luck everyone!