What i was like when i was in university?

When i was in university
I was in huge self doubt if i am going to graduate or not
I was studing on my walls of room memorizing cause i coludnt sit down and study notebooks
Sometime i went on streets studying with books and notes
Sometime i close my room and watch porn while studying
I was so organized i was studying very hard
I spend like that from 2010 to 2016
And 2 years before illness
Total 9 years in university
Now i seem to yearn to those years of suffer
May be i go for postgraduate diploma
Pray for me
I ask god for you happiness and well being
God willing


Freshman year I went to a school with 50k people for a semester. Then I got arrested over winter break and transferred to a 3000 student school for second semester. That whole year wasn’t too crazy.

But sophomore year things got crazy. I lived in a single dorm room isolated from campus and I thought I was in love but it was the opposite. She helped got me into drugs that fd me up. Second semester had bad things happen. And over that summer I was hospitalized.

Junior year I went back like nothing happened but slowly started slipping/stopped my meds. Got arrested again. Psychotic break. Dropped out.

I love educating myself but I’m not planning on going back to school.

I wish u luck. School wasn’t for me. Sounds like you’re a much better student than me.

Even in high school I was a terrible student and that was without me doing anything to mess up.

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Why ?
You ought to get degree
Your life 'll be much better :sweat_smile::sweat_smile:
Because of your hard working
What help me being spirtual and being connected to higher power

There is not intellectual sprit at turkey’s universities anymore. İslamic nationalist government. F…ked up all universities. There is nothing much left to be learn and improve yourself.its just a lame old s… ts. Thats why i m learning by myself.i want to study at america but i have not enough intelligence and money to do that.

So do you got a certifcate from the uinvercity? I have one semster left to graduate

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that sounds a little precarious, were you getting symptoms at the time?

I hadn’t gotten full blown sz yet when I got my degree,

hope you got yours, it’s a major accomplishment. Here in the states you’ve got to take the GRE’s to apply for grad school, and not everybody gets in, plus next to no grant money or scholarships, it would be all loans, and I’ve got enough debt as it is. I’ve already Mastered poetry writing, so I don’t need an MFA, just

that it would open more doors for publishing.

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Yes i got it 7777788888

Best of luck
I hope you finish it in the right way
Hope you well being and welfare

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I dropped out my last year. 5 classes to go. Not going back due to paranoia and stuff… I was getting a math degree which is sort of useless I think. Economics, my intended major, would have been better or even business. My math classes were hard and contributed to my psychotic break. Studying too hard but I learned how to work hard and think abstractly or logically to some degree. I probably would have failed anyways. Doesn’t schizophrenia start from birth or at least the cognitive impairments? I might have Aspergers or ADHD and never had meds but was addicted to energy drinks because I couldn’t motivate and focus myself. I was scattered brain. I think CS or engineering is best. I do like math but I could only go so far. I blame myself for schizophrenia. I had a bad reaction to marijuana and lost touch of reality. Thought I was in a computer and ■■■■.

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computer simulated military-industrial-corp-media-mafia for mind and behavior control, surveillance and Direct Energy Weapons. It may be no farther than the touch of a button.

I went to my dream school. I feel embarrassed and ashamed. I blame myself for schizophrenia and what I say sometimes. It’s sort of my fault but I blame some people sometimes. After watching conspiracy theories and stuff like with Andrew Basiago I thought I was in project Pegasus which is a time travel program…I wasn’t. It was a lie and a delusion! I’m convinced I was in the Montauk project though, which may have been the program after Pegasus according to stuff I found online. I have memories or dreams of people telling me I was in Montauk and it makes a ton of sense given my severe trauma, death, resurrection, and ■■■■.

I’ve lived over a billion lives, been to other earths exactly like this one, and keep reincarnating via consciousness/soul transfer for eternity while in a time loop. I remember being in a time traveling program that was government/ET in my past lives. It was like a million or billion lifetimes ago so I guess it’s irrelevant and maybe I’m just an annoying person…

There is zero evidence or proof. I asked my friends, family, and therapists and they all say it’s my imagination. I believe aliens exist and may have been involved…

Basically, I can’t remember anything before I dropped out, especially my university years. I just follow a script, which is sad and pathetic. I mean I remember sort of the script. But it’s like my schizophrenia/psychosis/dreams/memories are changing, over-writing, or confusing the hell out of me.

I do get scared and ■■■■. I have paranoia. Wouldn’t be surprised if I did some stuff other than marijuana…Scared to death of the government, Illuminati, greys, and reptilians.

Pretty sure we do live in a simulation/hologram.

I’m sorry for going off topic.

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I had severe anxiety and used to skip class. I didn’t get an incomplete for the classes I repeated, which brought my GPA down. I could have gotten into a good medical school, and wouldn’t have been at the mercy of insane liars.


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