What I especially don't like,,, trigger warning,, psychosis fears,,

Uncertainty about psychosis :frowning:??

One day I’m fine, next day will I be fine?

Of course I like to believe it and ‘know’ it that I will be fine.

But what if I’m wrong.

I think the chances are very low that I’m wrong.

But maybe, maybe,… The chance of that still exists.

I know I should remain strong and think yes it is going to be okay because that’s what I want

But what if by a negligible possibility it isn’t, if that’s even a possibility, I like to think believe and ‘know’ that it is not.

This disease is blimin scary. Tomorrow I could be out of touch with humankind for the rest of my life. Ie relapse and antipsychotic resistant. Or relapse and emotionally killed with a medication dose increase.

All the trees could be merging together. All the people could be talking mocking things about me, music could not help, I could be zombified to the max by medication. The voices could keep reminding me about hell. My siblings and friend’s eyes could become possessed again by the corrupt hallucination. Basically, I could be as if on another planet, a stranger to everything around me, a hostile planet. My mum’s voice in my head on loud volume talking in a sorrowful way.

I ‘know’ this isn’t going to happen. But I could be wrong? Is that a possibility that I could be wrong.
(rhetorical)

Just a vent thread to see who feels the same.

How to cope with this? It is a background annoyance in my mind.

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Yeah I’m scared of getting ill again.

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I think what makes me feel more uneasy is pulsatile tinnitus.

If I I can still hear those noises in 3 years time, I may go private to get a scan because the NHS does not look into it.

I feel like that everyday
“What if the meds stop working?”
“What if next time I’m hospitalized I never leave and no meds work ever again?”
I get that people are always watching me and talking about me in public feeling too
I just need to find more non drug ways to escape and not be so anxious and paranoid all the time.

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