Uncertainty about psychosis ??
One day I’m fine, next day will I be fine?
Of course I like to believe it and ‘know’ it that I will be fine.
But what if I’m wrong.
I think the chances are very low that I’m wrong.
But maybe, maybe,… The chance of that still exists.
I know I should remain strong and think yes it is going to be okay because that’s what I want
But what if by a negligible possibility it isn’t, if that’s even a possibility, I like to think believe and ‘know’ that it is not.
This disease is blimin scary. Tomorrow I could be out of touch with humankind for the rest of my life. Ie relapse and antipsychotic resistant. Or relapse and emotionally killed with a medication dose increase.
All the trees could be merging together. All the people could be talking mocking things about me, music could not help, I could be zombified to the max by medication. The voices could keep reminding me about hell. My siblings and friend’s eyes could become possessed again by the corrupt hallucination. Basically, I could be as if on another planet, a stranger to everything around me, a hostile planet. My mum’s voice in my head on loud volume talking in a sorrowful way.
I ‘know’ this isn’t going to happen. But I could be wrong? Is that a possibility that I could be wrong.
Just a vent thread to see who feels the same.
How to cope with this? It is a background annoyance in my mind.