Hi guys. Beeing kind to myself is something my psychologist allways wanted for me, but i don´t even know what that means.
He said that I was an “extreme” person; when i was motivated to do something I dindn´t give myself a break and I allways ended up tired and miserable, and that went through a cycle of not doing anything.
He also said that I needed to program breaks every week to not burn myself and that I needed to be kind to myself when I “failed” at something.
In my experience if you want something in life, moreover if you have a mental disorder, you need to be very strict with your goals. What is the difference between beeing kind to ourselves and allowing ourselves to do nothing in life?
In this instance, I think that what they may be refering to is the idea that you don’t just “let go” of percieved failure, instead, you beat yourself up with it. However, it’s possible that they’re just saying “You need to learn to slow down, and give yourself a break. You’ll feel all the better for it.”, although, that’s less likely because if you’re manic…That would be sort of like saying “Just stop being manic!” which if you could do…
Some cultures place a lot of emphasis on personal acheivement, my guess is that you’re from such a culture. Motivation is wonderful, but I will never be “hussein bolt” no matter how much I train. An “Ok, so maybe I’m not going to win Olympic gold, but then, look at what I have accomplished.”, type of attitude, rather than an “I’m a failure!” type thingy, followed by a “dark period”.
I have met people from “ personal acheivement” cultures, and to listen to their outlook on life is strange for me. You are not the master/mistress of your own destiny, hardwork and dedication will bring you material gain, but the amount of “sucess” that you have in life depends upon too many unknown variables. It’s a bit like staying super-fit, in order to live longer, and then dieing at 32. Well you got the benefit of being super-fit, but you “failed?” to beat death…
Just take a more realistic tack if possible. Be a “winner”, but also take the time to be a realist and give yourself a pat-on-the-back for what you did accomplish or learn, don’t get all down on yourself.
I´m european, I don´t know if we are a “personal achievement” culture, but I didn´t have enough pressure from my parents when I was a kid, so i kinda needed to learn how to go throught obstacles by my own.
I want to be the “master of my destiny”, I refuse to believe that my success isn´t a product of my work ethic. When the gods of fortune decide to lend me a hand I will try to be working ,at the time, on the things that I´m sure I can improve.
I think it has to do with the fact that you have a mental illness and when you are having a rough time you understand that you are hurting inside. Maybe you do things you regret but sometimes it’s related to your illness and you should get help. It’s more of a feeling that you are okay in your life and you are taking care of yourself.