Schizophrenia.com

What does acceptance mean to you?

Does it mean you don’t revolt against the injustice of not being able to live a life, to being isolated, full of fear, anxiety, self-doubt and unreliable future?

The word is thrown out there but what does it mean?

Kind regards.

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The serenity prayer defines this word in this way:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change , the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

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It means recognizing something for what it is-as it is in itself.
It cannot define you without your consent.
Love it? It can become you.
Hate it? Kick it as hard as you can out the door, and refuse to let it in.
Don’t care? Then it probably sleeps on your sofa and eats all your food while you are watching TV.

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@tobornottob12b but I have no serenity and do not feel god.

@Csummers “Love it? Hate it? Don’t care?” I don’t follow this.

Observe something.
It is separate from you, not a part of you, unless you choose to allow it to be part of you.

Think about it.

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if you are stuck in a swamp…unable to move.
lie down in the mud…stop struggling…accept the situation…where you are.

by accepting …you release yourself.

at worst you get to know what lying in a swamp is like !?!
take care :alien:

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I think that what the prayer is stating is that we don’t have to accept the things that we "can" change, but that we can find peace in accepting those things that we know for sure that we can not.

But how can one accept all this pain and agony? Some people experience more than others and personally it’s agony, anxiety, dread, unwanted isolation but unable to act upon? While in turmoil one can’t have peace.

From what I hear, Schizophrenia does not neccessarily mean a life of all those negative things you have listed. The mind is a powerful thing, and many people diagnosed with Schizophrenia can live a full life.

You don’t have to accept the suffering as being permanent, for life is only so long as we understand it to be. Something’s change whether we like it or not. That is what I accept, because I have to accept that I am not God Almighty either. I didn’t make this stuff up, and if there is something that I don’t have to accept that I can change then I will perhaps change it, but I don’t have to change things just because I can change them.

Acceptance is when we decide that regardless of whether something can or cannot be changed, we will let it be.
The Beatles had it right, man. :musical_note: :notes: “let it be, let it be.” :notes: :musical_note:

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It means accepting the responsibility of managing your symptoms as best you can. It can be hard not to shirk this responsibility and quit taking med’s.

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Or anything else in life.
Everything changes eventually.
The only reason for perpetual misery is if you try to force something to be what you think you want.

As they say with the weather,
If you don’t like it (the weather)
…just wait a few minutes and it will change.

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cc: @Lotus

Right on target. I don’t roll over and play dead “accept.” I simply observe to notice to recognize to acknowledge what I have observed, noticed and recognized as “just being there.” Because I can only deal with what I accept as actual. If I deny it or *refuse * to accept what is actually there (e.g.: painful emotions, being alone, that I am only able to do what I am able to do, that my history is just what it is), there is no possibility of changing it.

one of the most difficult part of life .if one go through it certainly lives a happy life…take care…

To me it means combatting this, and also skeptical doubts regarding others. Critical thinking is often praised, but this is not the same as a thorough skepticism, either about oneself, others or world. There have been trends in my thinking that lean towards the latter, not coincidentally during psychosis. Acceptance comes close to trust here - which seems to be a challenge in my paranoid episodes. And this goes beyond the trust of other people. I see my derealization as manifestation of this skepticism as well. It’s logical counterpart is trust or acceptance - not evidence and argument. To me, this is the main challenge in an episode.

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I’m agree with your opinion , i need to love and accept my nature :wink: !

To me that would mean that you know the positives and negatives and you accept them as they are, not trying to change them and try to be comfortable with them. I try to recognise both and i try to find positive in both.

Don’t like the situation… but I can live with it.

Don’t like what the person did… but I can forgive… and separate the actions from the person…

Don’t like something about myself… but can still look myself in the eye in the mirror and work on making it better…

Acceptance isn’t passive… it’s very active and takes a lot of work.

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A ton of this is slightly or more negotiable.

This will be a burden. That’s it. But, you control a lot of your own situation by acting appropriately (preferably professional) when in public, refrain from discussing your mental care/diagnosis/worrying aloud or discussion of your disability check income. Here are some common burdens you will face and work-arounds:

Social – You will be mistreated by some people along the way. A lot of people don’t treat people right and they will target you. As long as you understand some of the part-time psychotic people do not act right towards anyone, this goes a LONG way to being okay. Understanding the mental care will not help you with these social problems needs to happen to in order to function. This is mental care policy to call this stuff delusional and refuse assistance. If you ever get angry with your mental care staff, you will be forced into the psych hospital at your own expense for as long as the PDOCS can justify. You have to keep your cool with the care. Ability to control yourself and state disappointment without getting confrontational will save you a lot of suffering. Lots of Christians met with mistreatment by some mentally ill people who verbally harass anyone, ignoring this is called ‘grace’ btw. Other groups of Christians (nondenominational and pentacostals) are frequently the part-time psychotics who will stalk a specific person on disability payments after mental care to verbally harass him/her…Some of the christians follow orders from voices to do even worse which is wrong, so would use caution getting involved in some churches unless you know a few members well or you could end up with more stalkers/verbal harassers for trying a church. If ever thrown out of a church or networking group, never get angry or even say much about it as this will likely happen to you over your lifetime with the stigma/bullying of mental care customers. If you leave quietly, you will almost always be okay.

Housing – I highly recommend you not share any walls by living in apartments once you do try living on your own. This is recipe for failure any longer as the millennials will act like a nut sometimes next to mentally ill person with shared walls. The disruption may cause you problems in school or work or insomnia. This kind of problem varies widely by location btw. Luckily, a landlord cannot discriminate against you based upon source of your income and may actually give you the apartment on a disability check because your income is reliable. Also, you may quality to use some of the local apartments reserved for mentally ill people eventually so you can live independently. You will also be able to get mortgage loans to own a house eventually as banks cannot discriminate.

Safety – You may be in a city with groups of kids who verbally harass adults when the voices demand it of them – called gang stalking. This is kind of an initiation to a bad/iffy neighborhood for new residents. If you do not answer, you will be safe. I would strongly recommend you move soon if this happens as the situation can become unsafe sometimes.

Education – College instructors may treat you wrong or allow students to do so. Use of disability support services department is highly advisable. You will need doctor note from your previous care doctor if you moved for school. I would get this before you try to leave for college as new psych doctor will probably not cooperate in respectful way. If you have instructor who quits following the syllabus, this will allow you to go to Dean if the instructor does not start to treat you right immediately. You can also do assignments or tests in quiet place. Or get alternative assignments if you are placed in group assignment with someone who is uncooperative. I HIGHLY recommend you take 2-3 classes in person and pay cash before you try to get student loans or Pell grant to make sure the staff treat people right. Otherwise, if you drop due to mistreatment you will be forced to pay back Pell grants or student loans immediately. If you move for school, you may be treated to more social problems for a while as you will be shown who hears voices in your neighborhood and have some new people who are psychotic say hello to you by saying something nutty…This happens for a couple months after you move. I would NEVER talk to self aloud and you may not be treated to any problems from neighbors. Talking to self seems to be signal that makes the millennials go nuts on a mental care patient. I would REALLY not consider it an easy choice to move and go to school in same semester. You need to do this at different times to avoid overload or just try to earn online degree part-time from home so you have a stable environment. Socializing with the wealthy students at sorority or fraternity seemed to make some students more symptomatic as it can just be the wrong people with bad intentions toward some people…Give this a lot of thought before you try it as you could be meeting too many of the wrong people who will be cruel toward someone different.

Employment – You can work on disability payments. If you are on SSI, you need to discuss your specific situation with a case worker to make sure your medicaid does not end. On SSDI, you can earn $700 a month without risk of losing your health insurance discount with Medicare. When you want to return to work, then you can earn unlimited amount of money for 9 months and still keep your disability check if you give up the job for any reason. I strongly recommend you decide which full-time employers in your community you would like to work at eventually if you did return to work and NEVER apply to these until you are ready to work full-time. Then, you can use the rest of the employment in your community and leave a few jobs if it is bad fit/too stressful/or makes you symptomatic. You will be able to leave these off your REAL resume when you are ready to go full-time if the job did not work out or you met something wrong there and don’t want to discuss a bad employer. DO NOT APPLY AT STAFFING OR TEMPORARY AGENCIES AS THESE KEEP YOUR RESUME FOREVER…IT WILL SCREW YOU LATER TO TRY TO GET PART-TIME WORK THIS WAY. Craigslist is AWESOME source of jobs in a lot of communities, plus a few thieves working it for identity theft. But there are so many part-time jobs and gigs on there, you really could try to get experience in a specific field this way. (NEVER discuss your diagnosis, mental care nor worry aloud. You only need to tell them you are on SSDI so you have a limit to how much you earn. Then ask for accommodations – changes to work environment so you can get job done – like flexible schedule for insomnia, set hours instead of swing shifts, work alone, work in back away from customers, take work home so you are away from distractions or thought broadcasting coworkers who are busy being crazy at work instead of working. Sadly lots of millennials will do this but the middle age men in the office will screw people…)

Relationships – Relationships can work well or not. (You are better choosing a few things you liked about anyone and focus on these instead of the bad unless it is unsafe…) Some met their relationship when he/she walked up to them talking about something private about the other in psychic manner…This means the person could really understand a lot about the place where you live and can really help you straighten out your confusion. Called thought broadcasting btw but some try to pick up a date this way too. Some people meet good ones this way while others only meet freaks. Decide for yourself…Another mental illness victim from NAMI or another support group can be a great fit too. The best fit are the kind people who agree with your version of mental illness or targeted individual, and treat you with respect instead of calling you a mental case. Online dating like Dating4disabled can be great place to meet someone and just chat for a while until you are comfortable enough to make contact in person…

Family – Children and old people do something called ‘thought insertion’ sometimes when the kid or elder talks like he/she is possessed. It is their internal train of thought artificially hijacked as bad joke. Sadly, this got so many hurt over the years but should just be ignored as kid doesn’t control it. Choice to have a family can be big stresser but many on this board do juggle schizo symptoms and children, spouse okay so it can be done. Inlaws are a whole different planet of suffering you just have to manage – I prefer quiet acceptance instead of -itching about it or defend myself. You get 50% more SSDI benefits if you have children but you need to know to ask social security administration for this.

In my case, I accept the psychosis may never stop but I work anyway with it running as background noise. I developed some very stubborn insomnia after undergoing mental care but seroquel at bedtime makes it manageable a lot. However, my state limits use of ambien when insomnia is really bad so is extra burden causing me to avoid jobs with set hours. I have worked VERY hard in order to get into a field where I can work with these problems, even getting screwed badly by staff at two colleges but I keep going with the studies and applying for internships. I kept relationship with old friend after he ended up in jail for something stupid. We understand each other and respect each other much more than any people I’ve ever met. He had his own experience with mental illness for a time which greatly improves his understanding of what happened to me. I lived independently during 10 years of psychosis symptoms plus 10 years prior, owning my home during a lot of the time and then choosing to sell & check out other options later on. I had to accept fact that I would not be able to keep the home I owned in my hometown for 10 years because the job market is so bad and I met the wrong people who would not leave me alone. It was just time to say ‘enough’ as I knew things did not improve for the others in my situation. The cops in my city ruined the other victims, sending most several states away in order to get away from this area’s problems. I had to accept it was best for me to move. I moved around for a time, getting screwed more than a few times by crazy coworker and landlords rented out places other female tenants who were alone had obviously repeatedly abandoned. I had to accept it is better to live with my parents for a while as I’ve found even small towns to be tough places for a female to live alone any longer – funny but city was easier in the far suburbs. I do not accept the large amount of weight I gained while living in some places that were a problem and dealing with insomnia (which causes weight gains in woman) – I’m walking every day now to get the weight off of me.

We really need some flexibility on acceptance and you also need to remember you will need to ignore your loud detractors – insults and loud doubters. If you do not try, you will never know or accomplish anything. If you ever try you will probably hear your detractors loudly sound off. You have to ignore it as you challenge yourself in the years to come once you are able to deal with the psychosis symptoms. Eventually, you will accept some limitations on how far you will push yourself because it just was not worth it on the previous attempts and you will find a place of comfort in your accomplishments where you can work or/and just live…

Remember the Serenity Prayer:

    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    The courage to change the things I can,
    And the wisdom to know the difference.

Comfortable is the best we can hope for…Basic needs met and a few luxuries. Good people, good company and acceptance by other people because we treat them right is where we can be wealthy…

As the social problems annoy you, grow your relationship with the people who treat you right. Some places have so many screwed up people bothering psychosis victims, it will be healthier for your to move as everyone is a complete fake. Facebook is great way to connect with your old friends who you know were okay…Just make sure if you move you already know someone where you are moving or you take a relationship with you. Some small towns even are not accepting new people easily and will run off even a male alone, while a female is really mistreated if you get stuck there. Have extra money to leave if you try to move too…

Best of luck to you.