So my two biggest traumas in my life came at 11 and 19 years old. And the same person was responsible for both of them. I think he’s reformed, he’s like part of the church or something. He just got married. In Italy. Sounds like his life is going really well. But he’s abused me greatly twice. He has apologized, he has shown sympathy for me. I forgive him mostly but still resent a little bit. I guess I’m happy for him. I should be and it doesn’t help To hold resentment. But it’s easier said than done! You guys can make 100 posts telling me to forgive him, and I still would only 90% forgive him. But whatever that’s life.
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I was abused in early childhood, and at a deep level it’s very difficult for me to forgive. I’m still working on that, and no, they are gone and never apologized to me. I just have to look at the whole, bigger picture of all of my life and all of the people I’ve met who’ve also been abused. It’s an interesting journey.
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You don’t have to forgive him. You were abused by this person. But forgiveness I believe is actually more for the one doing the forgiving, than the one being forgiven. It may help you move on in your life or recovery. It is up to you what you want to do. If you are ready to forgive then fine. If not, maybe consider if you need to do something so you might be able to. But it is up to you ultimately. I am not telling you to forgive this person. Only you can know if this is something you can do.
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If he abused a 11 year old he will do it again
Its a good question.
You just have to think bigger. He did a lame thing. But its not your fault…he is not developed enough. So you cant add a new brain on him.
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