What do you do when

If you are the only person calling another, whether it be a friend or family member, and you’re the only person making the effort to actually call.

I did an experiment back in 2014, where I just stopped calling people who I thought were my friends, and I have not spoken to them since.

Makes me wonder now what I should do about people (Family) who put zero effort into contacting me.

It all seems like an up-hill one sided battle, and I am the one who gets told I have Autism, yet these NTs do not practise reciprocal communication

Some people say it’s a two way street ya know. I am sick of the burden of feeling like I am imposing myself on them, when they cannot be bothered to pick up the phone


I think its important to talk to family, even if its you who is calling.


Even if it’s one sided,

You’re staying in touch with your family and that’s good.

Are they treating you well when you call them?

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It gets quite political with my aunts, as there are 7 of them, and people drift in and out of favour over time.

To me personally I think they’re nice when I call, but as per example of friends, if I decided to let them call me, the phone would not ring.

Makes me feel like I am imposing myself on them, as if they wanted to talk to me, they would call as well

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How busy are they?

I guess busier than me.

Some are not working, but I work pretty much full time when the weather permits.

See what you’re saying though

Sometimes with relationships like that you have to put in the effort to keep it alive.

It’s like that with me and my best friend,

She’s so wrapped up in her own life,

If I never called, we’d never talk.

If it’s worth it to you to keep these relationships,

I think you should keep calling.

If not, then just let them drop out of your life.

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Yep, I’m in the same boat. I stopped communicating with my friends and started isolating, due to the illness, and never heard from any of my friends. I probably wouldn’t have talked to them anyway, because I was psychotic, but it would have been nice to maybe hear from them. Oh well, not worried about that now. I have my family and that’s all that matters.

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Do they have families of their own?

Yeah, it’s like you say. it might be a case of other priorities keep pushing ahead of calling you. Since they’re cordial when you speak to them, it’s very unlikely that they are not interested. Probably trust you to call them, and that’s a good thing

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I guess I have to make that decision

What I don’t understand is why I suck so badly at relationships with other people.

I’d like to think I am genuine etc, but all the people in my life - except for family, have treated me like ■■■■.

This is why I get a bit complacent about these things

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It’s easy to get demotivated. It may not be a you problem but a them problem instead. Sometimes we just have bad luck with friends, if your family still treat you decently that says you’re not anywhere near as bad as you think of yourself.

Perhaps is subconscious nerves of anxiety that makes it difficult with would be friends.

I have a diagnosis of autism as well.

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That is so hurtful that they don’t call you. But family is important. I’d keep reaching out if you can handle it.

They do yes.

I suppose they can only maintain contact with a certain amount of people

I will do this.

Just wasn’t sure if they were only taking my calls just to be nice, as they don’t call me

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With family, especially the older ones, like aunts, uncles, grandparents etc…they expect us, the younger ones, to contact them. My grandmother calls me a lot though…

With friendships, I let people do whatever… it used to bother me and I felt like this too… but it doesn’t anymore. Life happens. I say hi every once in awhile to check in. And dnt miss important things like bdays, xmas, Turkey day and new years.

We all have stuff going on…

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I don’t have anybody calling me except for my mother :crying_cat_face:

I think you’re worrying too much. If people answer it’s because they want to and care about you.

Sometimes family takes other family members for granted

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