I can’t determine what is truth and what is not. It feels like I can see through the world. Plus I’m starting to see and hear and feel things. Little things, letting me know that the entities in my mind, disguised as thoughts, want to escape. Can thoughts escape a mind? Are they sentient? Mine are sentient. I want to run away from here. Stop taking the meds and live in reality. Only people say it’s not reality. Who do I trust? People who buy into the system? Or what my mind says is true? Why should I trust anything outside of my mind?
I figure, if my mind is producing these thoughts, then there must be a reason.
Why should I trust anyone? I must find the truth.
Think of how reality was before the illness. If you want any chance of going back there you need medication.
But I just… I can’t with this. I’m sorry for posting. I feel like my eyes have been opened and no one understands.
You’re experiencing apophenia, the tendency of finding meaning between unrelated things, for example having a thought about someone and hearing them make a sound, as if they just acknowledged you. It’s irrational and makes you fall farther down the path of insanity.
I don’t feel insane. I feel awake. You can just ignore me if you like, it’s okay.
If you feel stable that’s fine, no one can fault you. If your symptoms are inhibiting your ability to readjust to society, and hopefully get a job, then you’ll do yourself a disservice by stopping meds, since the problem will get worse.
There are things now that I just couldn’t grasp a few years ago at the peak of my sickness. I don’t know if I would be considered normal now days. I work at a tattoo shop now doing tattoos, socializing with people everyday, driving, exercising, you know normal things I guess. The difference in mindset came from believing in myself and select few around me. I don’t consider myself part of the systems because I don’t follow the general beliefs of society… I don’t give a ■■■■ about everyone else, I will live, I will die, I can enjoy myself in the company of people, I can fell comfortable being alone. All I believe in now is being alive right now.
i dont know man. thinking about all that extraterrestrial and ‘what if’ and delusional bologna is nothing but a sign of a mental problem.
all it is is bologna. it’s like being a mad scientist or something trying to find a formula for life.
there is no formula for life.
The reason (and the truth) is that your mind is functioning improperly. You’ve got stuff from your unconscious leaking into your conscious mind and you can’t tell that what you are perceiving is not real. (The majority of those of us here either suffer from, or have suffered from the same.)
The primary line of defence is medication. It will lessen the onslaught of weird thoughts, delusions, and impulses. More importantly, it will help you gain insight into your condition and recognize delusional thinking and hallucinations for what they are.
Are you currently receiving treatment from doctors? Are you taking medication?
that’s one of the nicest ways of expressing the condition i think i have ever read.
‘leaking thoughts from unconscience to conscience’
that explains it. when it’s in full force, it feels like you’re living a combination of the real outer world plus your imagination.
at least for me, my imagination literally influenced how I viewed the world entirely.
I miss the freedom of being med-free, but I dont miss the unstable part of it.
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