What are some of your most challenging symptoms of sz?
I get very angry sometimes. I also struggle with violent thoughts constantly.
Intrusive thought-like voices, and still a bit of the god delusion. Ideas of reference also, but those I can easily brush off.
Tough call. Iād say either intrusive thoughts or paranoia. When I still got some of my āownā normal thoughts left, I can deal with intrusive thinking. But when every single thought appeared intrusive/inserted, that was tough. Paranoia on the other hand cut off all kinds of ways to get out of psychosis, and to cope with it. In my first, 8 month episode, my sz did not affect much of the external worldās appearence to me. So not too many delusions of reference or paranoia. Only intrusive/inserted thoughts, hallucinations, and a telepathy delusion with a circumscribed persecutory theme that did not persist. Second, brief episode did concern much of the external world, on top of the other symptoms. I found that much tougher, even though I thought of myself as well prepared for it. I do quite well monitoring my thoughts and catching myself in the act of biased reasoning and the like. However, some symptoms seem better classified as having a perceptual rather than cognitive nature. Accordingly, metacognition is much less effective there. Those are tough for me.
Avolition and flat effect.
Intrusive thoughts and paranoia are the worst. They take up most of my day.
Avolition and agitation
Also mood issues
Negative swingsā¦
Flatnessā¦ numbness.
Avolition and brain wipeā¦
When Iām having a hard time in the negative swingā¦ My mind will empty in the middle of a sentence.
Delusion, thats my main problem.
Fear - severe anxiety.
Agitation and depersonalization. The hallucinations and delusions arenāt that bad.
And when I feel wiped out, I donāt like it. Iām feeling pretty wiped out today.
Just got to take it easy for a bit today. Yeah Iāll do my workout and get my work done for today but Iām not feeling it yet.
Waiting for the meds to kick in every morning is a real bitch. I wake up in withdrawal from all of them.
I find the flatness and agitation to be really frustrating. Right now I feel both, flat but agitated about being flat and wanting to feel better. Iām still recovering from food poisoning which made yesterday and last night living hell. Still having some funny noises in my stomach and diarrhea.
I guess I hate when I just want to but canāt.
on a bad night i get too many thoughts and i cant make sense of them all at the same time so my head starts to spin really fast and thats when i try to distract myself with doing something like make a cup of tea and phone the crisis line etc
the people at the crisis line are really nice and i have had the same woman to talk to a few times and she is really good with me, settles me down and helps me concentrate on one thing at a time,
if the thoughts were aloud to keep spinning i would probably start getting what people call -āvoicesā but i call them intrusive thoughts. so i need to be on my guard against that, hardly ever happens though.
Since Iām on meds only really anxiety
today again my sadness put me in a 2 hour whaling of tears alone i hid
, my thoughts were fixed on my past woes and troubles, i blame this on a mood swing aka bi-polar appearing again, i have good reason to be upset,
fatigue 15 characters
Confusion. it only lasts a second but what follows is 2 days of fear that it will happen again. Sucks
the ignorance of others/society.
take care
Acting normal, like we are all (normal or not) suppose to keep our anger at home when we drive etcā¦ Canāt act normal around more then two people at a time in a setting. Social skills are all but lost forever in exchange of a more universal set of reactions. I usually act as I would like others to act towards me. Just to be safe. In like I will edit alot of what I write here when after I re-read it so that it is not offensive sounding to the majority or anyone at all really. This world is a stage and we are all but actors ā¦ but the play is real, and the Sun shines down equally on us all, good or evil. So letting God love through us and not attracting attention to ourselves only, but then who donāt need attention?
As of late. The mania. This is more a symptom of SZA, but itās my most challenging symptom lately. Iāve learnt to control the delusions and hallucinations, but my mania has been getting in the way. Sometimes it helps, but when I get to āupā, people say I act weird. I also tend to be extremely impulsive. I forget to eat and sleep, and I always start to consider going off my meds, which is a big no-no.
Poor relationship skills