I woke up in the middle of the night as usual. What are you doing?
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I woke up at 4:30 am. Trying to wait on getting my tea until I go to my volunteer job so I am just wasting my time watching the simpsons. I wish I had woken up later so I didn’t have so much free time as I hate free time. I like to always be busy
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I’ve been up a couple hours just messing with the computer but I’m super bored now.
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Yah I hate boredom. I try to fill my days as full as possible. I had nothing to do after chores and school projects yesterday so I ended up going to bed at 7pm
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oh wow, that’s early
Yah. I take my meds with dinner at 5pm and if I don’t have anything keeping me busy I pass out really early. Sometimes my mom brings side work from her job home and I’ll do it late into the night and she gives me a portion of her salary. It helps me get by
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what’s type of work?
ts really simple work like alphabetizing and mailing things. I kinda hate it but I need the money while I’m just in school and volunteering and haven’t gotten disability yet. Someday like when I start grad school I will probably have to actually work and that makes me very nervous.
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You must be young and just starting out then, I’m already done working I think. Sometimes I think I’ll never get back to working, it’s just too much stress. But who knows, I guess there’s always hope. Have you applied for disability?
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Yes I’ve applied for disability. I’m only 22. Working is something I feel like I have to do to get the life experience. I think I can do it in time. I’m still working on getting my symptoms in order but you know how that goes.
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Yes. I do know. For me my symptoms are well controlled but I just can’t handle stress or I decompensate quickly. When I was young I could multi-task and tolerate stress so I worked. I’m grateful too cus now I get enough on Social Security to get by because of all the money I paid into it.
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Yah thats kind of the goal for me. I’m in school for a 6 figure income so I’m just going to work and save as long as I possibly can. I really like having something to do so I’ll do the best I can even if it takes clozapine lmao
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I don’t know if I would have been able to work if I had been on aps when I was younger. They totally zap my energy and motivation. But when you’re younger you have more energy, so it’s more doable I guess. What are you studying?
I study software design basically. I also volunteer at a non profit in my free time. I need work credit on my applications to get into grad school so hopefully this will work
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That’s great. You’re picking a field that is germane.
Yah there is also a lot of remote work in the field as well. And I think I could handle that better if I am sick. I met a guy in the hospital who was constantly talking with his voices and he said he worked full time from home so I figure that isn’t a bad bet
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True, telecommuting. I didn’t even think about that.
Yah a lot of tech jobs now are moving to that as a lot of people work more efficiently that way and it’s cheaper to not have to maintain office space. I figure it would be lower stress for me as well. Wouldn’t have to get up so early and interact as much. I do like being around people though just not when I’m really symptomatic. Didn’t you move recently? I think that was you. I might be moving soon and I worry about the stress
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Yes, I moved. It was highly stressful. But I made it through. Where are you moving?
I was thinking about Portland Maine or Austin Texas. Probably just following the parents when they retire. I do worry about social services there though. Maine doesn’t have a department of mental health or services in areas outside of cities and I need a caseworker for when I tip over the edge as I do every so often
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