I’ve been ill with schizophrenia since being 26. 35 now. Think I’m making recovery. Do you think 38 is ok to have child?
Yes, probably. Why not?
Meghan Markle had baby age 38
If you’re a woman, you’ll probably need fertility treatment to have a kid after 35, but it’s possible.
What about if your a man?
38 is totally fine to have a baby. But I will say to make sure you’re VERY recovered first. It is hard having to get up all hours of the night with a screaming baby and then go about your day. Adoption is also an option.
I’m totally recovered from positives. Have a bit to go with negatives. 60% there.
Honestly, my kid helps me a lot with my negatives. It’s easier to motivate yourself to do things when you don’t have the option of not doing it.
The older you are the harder it is to get pregnant. You may need help from a clinic. It can still happen though.
That’s great. What negatives do you have?
It’s a struggle to keep on top of my hygiene and cleaning. But my kid notices when I miss a shower or don’t pick up my laundry, and he says I’m a hypocrite for making him do those things when I don’t. So the thought of him calling me unfair has been a pretty good motivator.
I understand procreation is a primal need, but I don’t think people should have children just to have them or to fill a void.
A child comes with a lot of stress, sacrifice, compromise, financial expenses, and emotionally draining things.
If you’re not prepared for that, your age doesn’t matter. You need to be absolutely sure you wouldn’t be pushed into a psychotic break and having your kid put in foster care.
Having a mentally ill parent can be really detrimental to a child’s wellbeing if the parent’s symptoms aren’t under control
I can ONLY speak to me experiences:
I have children who are now teens. It is a lot of work. I could never work with this illness, - let alone with children AND work but that me, maybe not you but something to consider.
I’m a really good.mom but my kids have seen me really struggle and be ill. They seen me unable to process or organize my thoughts and be in the hospital. For the most part it’s made them empathetic I think unless I’m wrong. They’ve seen me work hard to be well. One of my sons is in college to work in mental health or social services. He hasn’t decided.
I have one older teen that does have mental illness similar to mine, which I’m sure is genetic, but he is an amazing person and he is a blessing to everyone around him and a really really cool and talented and musically gifted kid. He does struggle with working but keeps trying hard. Having a mental illness is a minor thing in reality to be an amazing human that gives back to others. I would never make a decision to not have children based on a possibility of passing that down because my hubby and I know how to support him. And his life is as important as anyone elses.
I have a supportive (not perfect) partner and that makes all the difference, for me. For me that’s pretty vital.
Like others have said - my children and hubby motivate me more than anything. Everything in my life is forced with things similar to negatives, anxiety, paranoia but I look pretty normal compared when they get home compared to usual. When I know they are coming home I tidy up and plan dinner. I would never shower if it weren’t for my family, a real struggle for me. It’s challenging but apparently good for me. They add more structure to my life and I don’t have many feeling or passion left but I do for them. Once you have a family you’d do anything for them. I would not be as atrong perseverant or resourceful to be well without them. These sound selfish but is a reality but not a reason to have them of course. Lol.
I’m glad we had them when younger but that’s just me.
I have a friend who is severely disabled with MI and is an excellent mother. I have also heard of people with MI losing their children, very sad.
I am not ‘recovered’ like you are so you have that going for you. I never have. I’m not sure I ever will recover from symptoms and current struggle, recovery for me is just going to be maximizing my potential activity level within my struggle.
That was long and tries to make sense but I hope to be helpful with this area.
I am planning on having my first child when I reach the age of consent, 160 years of age
Thanks for detailed feedback. Lots to think about.
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