Schizophrenia.com

Wereany of you ever surrounded by loving friends before you became schizophrenic?

I watched this movie, a ‘beautiful mind’ and I realized the main protagonist John Nash was portrayed as the outsider before he became schizophrenic.
Anyways, I used it to measure my own lifestyle before schizophrenia and I realize, I was never one of those charismatic friends. To understand what I mean, you have to understand something about John Nash; long before John Nash started hearing voices, he actually was mad in the form of delusional understandings/thinking, and looking back at my teenage years, I realized I was also delusional before I started hearing voices; an example of this would be - I’d be in a mall, and I would just have this feeling I shouldn’t go near certain people, or use the elevator etc (just irrational things and looking back, they were always stupid things, but I’d always listened)… and I say this because these irrational thoughts/understandings never existed in my mind until I joined highschool and there I was always an outcast - my classmates singled me out because I had cancer chicks/made fun of it(did chemo before I joined school so my face was bloated, a common side effect of chemotherapy). Anyways, before that happened, I never had delusional/irrational thoughts, but after a year of being alone/an outcast to my classmates, I started having that delusional mindset… So four years pass and I’ve naturalized those delusional thoughts as normal - and at one point I even told myself I was having them because of all the cancer medications I was given after chemo. Then the 5th years comes, and I become schizophrenic… Like we’re those delusional thoughts just a coincidence or did you all go through them before you started hearing voices? And specifically, are they born out of being outcasts to friends ( and am not talking about - I knew this person I use to talk to/am talking about friends you played with/loved)

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Maybe it’s a stretch too far, but am trying to say, maybe schizophrenia is born out of being isolated for long periods of time

You could be right. I was, or at least felt very much like, a social outcast in high school. I spent most of my time alone in the forest, trying to figure myself out or just being angry at the world

Maybe being alone didn’t cause it, but it probably was an early sign of psychosis

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I don’t think so. I had lots of friends. Have alienated them all though. Don’t like to explain being sick.

I can relate to a Beautiful Mind now. The first time I saw it I hadn’t hallucinated yet. My doctor told me to watch it. I didn’t know what schizophrenia was. He recommended it. I thought he was crazy. I told him I didn’t have imaginary friends.

Fast forward 4 years and now I hallucinate and talk with them just like he did in the movie. I am told that he didn’t really see people though and that was Hollywood.

But that’s just how I hallucinate. I figured it out when a girl came and talked to me and entered the room through a wall and a chair.

No telling how many times it happened before then. If I see strangers in my house I know I am hallucinating. Out in the world I would have no idea. They look and sound real.

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Hey, Thanks for replying… Your words mean the world to me :heart:. But I must ask, were you ever irrational in thoughts? (It wasn’t a 24/7 everyday irrational all the time situation for me, so I just mean, did you ever feel abit delusional in your understanding?)

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No, at the end even my best friend that I knew since I was 10 y.o. left me after I insulted him bcz he told me to get back on my meds. He visited me in mental hospital though and he’s now a cardiologist.

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Hey Tom, I understand what you are saying, but we’re those friends always there or did they come after a period of isolation?

Isn’t that just f#cked up… Just seeing them living life… Bloody hell

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I’m not sure if you would consider them delusional, but in my teen years I was decided that I was going to move to the Yukon and live off the land. In hindsight, it wasn’t particularly realistic thinking that’s for sure

I mean, I could have done just that but I think I would have been miserable. Then I started to make new friends around 17 years old, and things improved for me emotionally and socially after I met my first girlfriend.

But then the really ■■■■■■ up thinking returned around 25 years old, and I knew I needed psychological help but seeking it in that day was considered a weakness and shameful

In hindsight, I have bean ill on and off for most of my life. It just didn’t show up until later in my life as being obvious

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I had delusions at 16y.o., voices at 19y.o., was diagnosed at 21 with psychosis NOS. After 5 years I stopped meds, relapsed and my diagnosis changed to sz.

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I didn’t isolate until I was in my 20s. As a teen, I had loads of friends. Too many, really, I’d hide from them some because it would all be too much.

My delusions began when I was younger, maybe as early as 6, when I began hallucinating.

I was in the military from 17 to 42. You get close to each other. Close quarters. Never lonely.

I got sick at 38. That’s not so common.

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I withdrew from the family when I was 4. I never developed much socially. Never fit in. Normal is unnatural to me. As unnatural to me as normies feel unnatural around me.

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Maybe it’s just me, but I was like super irrational… Like best way to explain itwoyld be when I learnt how to masturbate at like 18… so shortly after, I went to church and greeted the pastor, the next week when I went back to church, the pastor was gone; so in my mind am like it’s because he got sickened by seeing my sin and became sick over it… Like that’s damn as hell, but that’s another example of what I mean by delusional thinking. Like it’s sound like am a righteous person and just felt like the preacher saw my seem, but I mean I was like the preacher felt my sin… and that’s what I mean by delusional

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I also had sz symptoms way before my diagnosis. I had periods where I isolated myself bcz of delusions and disorganized thoughts, I read about sz and told myself I can beat that. I did beat the symptoms at least twice but everytime they came back after a few years and they were even worse everytime until full psychosis and diagnosis at 21 y.o. the day I tried to kill myself for the 2nd time.

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@Aziz glad you made it through all that. It’s never simple, is it?

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Wow, 38… I can’t possibly hope to understand you, I thought every schizophrenic got it in there 20… Wow, am really sorry you got it at that age

@ThePoorRichMan I didn’t start having those thoughts like that until I broke my neck in 2001. Then I started believing that everything that went wrong was my fault. I believed for a long time that my nephew being killed in a car accident was somehow related to my own accident. A life was owed, and it should have been me kind of thing

That’s just one example. Everything people did, I believed it was because they were mad at me

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Thanks, worse part is that I told Drs that I am hearing voices and feel in a dream, not in reality and not real, 3 Drs said its stress. Here in Quebec you can’t directly see a psychiatrist, you need a referral from a gp, they didn’t want to refer me to a psychiatrist. One referred me to a psychologist but I didn’t go as I needed a psychiatrist. It took 2 suicide attempts until I got diagnosed with psychosis the same day of my 2nd suicide attempt.

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Are you diagnosed?

@ThePoorRichMan