I made some dumbass decisions here and there, and really enjoyed getting drunk on the weekends.
But I will say, the year my prodromal symptoms hit, I earned pretty good grades in college and had a flourishing social life. I was in the best shape of my life and also smoked weed responsibly every day (if smoking daily responsibly is even a thing ).
My senior year of college was perhaps the most balanced I’ve ever been. I really had my shiit down in between partying, staying in shape, and studying.
I kinda miss those days, but who knows-- maybe when I’m older I’ll miss today too.
I had a good life living my dreams before sz, even after my last head injury that was supposed to be a 3-5 year recovery I made it in a really good career and was fit and did anything I wanted even with the headaches.
Now I’m George costanza
I was obviously better in terms of no significant positive or negative symptoms before SZ, however I was severely physically and sexually abused as a kid. Had problems with ASD that were either unrecognized or ignored through middle and high school that left me suicidal a lot of the time, and my coping mechanism for the aforementioned was booze with some drugs as icing on top. I drank so much that I had liver problems at age 23 when I wound up homeless because of the booze.
My life has improved greatly since joining AA for my alcoholism and learning to accept both medication and therapy for my SZ. I’ve been able to unpack a lot of baggage from my younger life so that I’ve mostly enjoyed life as an adult and am really liking the parts of middle age that my wife’s parents don’t crash into.
I still regard myself as a trainwreck in progress.
More like a tugboat. The months before I went into my first psyche ward I wasn’t doing anything really. I was 19 and had moved back in with my parents and I used to spend a large part of the day laying on the couch watching talk shows.
I got up to get the mail and empty trash. Occasionally I drove across town and went jogging or walking 5 miles on my favorite trail in the hills.
Funny story. I’m jogging and I see a figure in the distance. As we got closer to each other I see it’s a pretty, young, Asian woman. Who is topless! I tried not to stare while staring hard. I was 19 and stupid and just jogged right past her without saying anything. I found out how stupid I was on the way back. I was walking back and about a hundred yards away I see the Asian woman, still topless. But she’s on her knees in front of some guy and he has his pants down. As soon as they saw me they scurried around and pulled on their clothes. Man, I still mentally kick myself even 40 years later for not talking to her.
Yes @anon39054230, another story about the one that got away, lol.
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