Went kinda crazy

So today I opened all my windows to let cold air in and enjoy the openness. I’ve done this in the past and have had mixed results. Most the time it just feels more lively. I sometimes start to “battle” traffic and that’s what happened today. It really threw me off and now I have a headache. My remedy was to take my antipsychotic early, drink a cup of coffee, and plug into my headphones lay on the couch and relax. I think I’m starting to go more back to normal. My point is I feel I kinda maintain a protective bubble with my life and lifestyle. What I also believe is I just lost it for a bit and let my mind get carried away. That’s probably more likely. Now I feel guilty about my bubble though, but maybe should be less concerned about my closed mind. This was probably just getting carried away and i shouldn’t read to much into my more regular state. Does anyone feel they keep up a protective “bubble” or do things to maintain protective stability? Is your state pretty predictable whether bad or not or does it fluctuate?

I also got drunk last night and got maybe 5 hours of sleep. It hasn’t been the greatest day.

Also took some buspar last night and this morning to help chill me out. I’m not gonna take it tonight.

My old pdoc said buspar is similar to fluoxetine in that it takes a couple of weeks to work

Yeah that’s what they say. I feel it the first dose or a big difference. It makes me kinda loopy. I’ve taken it for an extended period and noticed it less and less. It’s hard for me to give drugs a shot I think cause I notice them right away and a lot of times don’t like the feeling. I usually give drugs a couple months if they’re at least tolerable in the beginning.

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Yeah in my experience even the doctors admit it is a very hit or miss med. didn’t do anything for me

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