Well, 17 years of illness, i am just sad now

I start to feel something normal in the day I find, but I am suffering still. Sadness and a bunch of paranoia. It sucks. Ive missed all my life…I could have been better person, maybe I wouldn’t have fallen so deep. I feel as a junkie or a prisoner who spent so much time apart from the people…
Should I just stay here and handle my sadness? My paranoia is quite tough also. The lack of air gives me headaches too. No choice, I take my meds still, but they don’t cure anything I find…
Sorry for the negative message. I am just sad now. Kisses

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You are still young, right?

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Yeah… 35 years old :slight_smile: but yeah, I hate myself for all my illness now…

Don’t hate yourself for you illness.
It’s not your fault you got sick.

The only thing you can do is keep working to get better.
If going outside is hard for you, maybe try standing in the doorway to breathe in some fresh air, and slowly take it further by walking a few steps in the yard or on the porch.

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Anna plz wait for the better future…!!!

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Yeah, its not my fault, I know it now, thank you Berru :slight_smile: yes, I try to smoke less now and breathe on my balcony :slight_smile: .

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Anna how are u today…??? Anything new in ur life…!!! What are u doing…!!!

You could do little things even though they might not enlighten you immediately but if you persist and doing things you will start to benefit

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I took my meds now far… :slight_smile: shellys, I do more things now, but my state is poor… I even felt some feelings today, but its all a mess still and its painful :confused:

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I may not be in the best position to speak at the moment, but please don’t give up hope. Remember that thread that others started about things getting better with age? You’re about the same age as me. I like to think it will get better for both of us. I know that it sucks, and I know how you feel about missing your life, but at least you aren’t alone here.

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Thank you heather…:slight_smile: Yes, I don’t give hope, I am just tired of the pain. Youll be fine too :slight_smile: Lets continue our meds wow :slight_smile:

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Uh, I hate myself too because of my illness. Schizophrenia took my life away. I’m pretty much futile now.

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I hope ill get over this fact one day. Those last days sometimes I don’t even think of this past isolation… But when I think, its bad :confused: … I was so alone that it wasn’t human. I am like an ovni now outside and the problem is that I am very few active. Do you believe that with the help of the meds, ill get over my isolation one day? Sometimes even my negatives are better now, but still for a brief time…
are there lot of other ill people who isolate themselves for so long like this? I guess I became a prisoner by my own, its just dumb, but it was the illness too…

Hugs)))) @Anna1 :heart:

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Can you have some goals in life ? What do you want in life ?

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I cant do anything cause I am either paranoid, either in depression… I don’t even know if I am bisexual or heterosexual… My illness is like this. No personality and lots of other stuff… I just want now to swallow the fact that I spent years in total loneliness etc. I missed everything, but it wasn’t my fault. Even my motricity is bad outside, I should learn now even to talk, to walk…

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