Weird type of rant

Most people live in a couple lies. Letting others believe untrue things about themselves. Acting like somebody else. But me. Well I’m different. I live in a true lie. What I see isn’t real. Yes some of what I see is but how will I ever know if I am truly seeing the truth. My eyes lie. My mind lies too. It believes false things telling me untrue things, and lying to me. I can no longer trust my mind for it lies to me too. My ears. Oh they lie as much as my eyes do. I hear false things. Things that aren’t there. My ears lie. I live in a lie. A full lie. Not a half lie with some truth but a total, and complete one.

There is a feeling of helplessness when all your senses betray you.

When I have downtime and I’m out in public I try to stay with my eyes closed because there’s just so much crap in my vision.

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A great feeling of helplessness. For me it’s the feeling of how do I know that I’m seeing the truth. How do I know that this isn’t my senses lying to me, that it isn’t a part of the lie that I live and drown in.
As long as it’s bright out it’s not too bad. At least not visually. I don’t really see my hallucinations in daylight. I can hear them though. It’s annoying not being able to get rid them, not being able to be normal. Constantly trapped in the lies made up of hallucinations and delusions.

Yea you can’t share observations with people because you never see the same stuff.

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And especially when you try to explain what is going on to normals, and trying to explain why you are scared. They aren’t really able to understand.

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