Was this a near psychcotic break? Whats going on?

I’m kinda worried my Latuda has been bumped down a notch or two (80mgs now) and I had another “event”. The every day stress of the over anxiety that the higher dose of Latuda was causing was the main reason my Dr. cranked it down, but I have also been having these infrequent… “attacks”.
This is the first time that I have been around someone when it’s happened. It doesn’t happen a lot, maybe once a month? (Maybe tied to hormone cycles?) I also had chicken baked in lemon. Does lemon have the same effect as grapefruit? I bought an orange out of season (read: expensive. $1 for just a stupid orange.) I wanted to eat it but I’m afraid to until I know. I had a grapefruit drink (it said it had grapefruit juice in it) when I was taking the higher dose, before I learned I wasn’t supposed to have it. It didn’t do anything. Any suggestions as to what is causing this would really help.
The build up:
I obsess over i’s. Lowercase ones. I don’t like it when the dot is circular. It needs to be square. I will stare and stare at these i’s trying to will them to behave.
My eyes feel like I want to go to sleep (kinda my body is cueing itself to go to sleep, but if the “attack” follows through I won’t be able to sleep, I’ll be wide awake).
I felt like I was being watched. I didn’t feel like there were people watching me with any sort of intent but I felt like some group I couldn’t see was there. I felt really antsy, like I wanted to touch myself but I felt like there were people watching, so I just suffered through it.
Stuff got all 3D. Shadows made it look like the room was shaped differently than it was. It gave me something to focus on besides going to sleep and was kinda freaky. Kinda a where am I really? Kinda thing. It looked like (and was) my fiancee’s place, but the newly protruding walls freaked me out.
The brown ducks on the repeating wallpaper in the bathroom (the ones with the brown eyes) looked like their eyes were cameras. It made it hard to pee. I felt like I was on camera.
And here is the very worst part:
I started a delusion about C (my fiancee). I started thinking (though the reasoning part of my brain knew he was C) that he was N (my ex). C knew I didn’t feel good and wanted to cuddle and stuff. I couldn’t look at him and I didn’t want anything intimate because C has been hurt before and I have never been sick enough that “I thought he was you” would be a real excuse. So although he looked like C, sounded like C, and used the same words/ expressions as C, I was afraid that I would be holding him and he would morph into N. Part of my brain was yelling out that it was C and it was a good thing. Every other part of me was in doubt. The reasonable part of my brain was just barely restraining me from making wild accusations. It was trying to make me call up N to hear his voice and compare it with C to make sure it was C.

That last part (about C) is the only new thing. When it happens in my dorm room I’m alone. I shun everyone who comes to see me because I am afraid they aren’t who they say they are and that they will tell lies about me if they see me like this. Maybe it isn’t worse on the lower dose? Maybe it just had the opportunity to get there?

I feel better now (I had a little sleep. That always fixes it) and I explained what happened to C. He was very understanding. But I wonder, why didn’t this happen with my Mom? The last time this happened I facetimed (kinda like skype) with my Mom. I had no doubt she was Mom. I wasn’t deluded into thinking she was tricking me or anything. Does that mean it was worse this time or do you just know when it’s your Mom?

Please help! I don’t know what’s going on!

Don’t think you’re having a breakdown or anything. Every since i stopped meds i go through that stuff on a daily basis. Sounds like you’re dosage may have been lowered a bit to much, just be sure you tell you’re doctor what is going on.

I had the same episodes (basically) on the higher dose too.

Maybe it’s the wrong med for you? What meds have you tried so far?

I had those problems when I had my break. Walls shifting in 3D making the room look different, cameras everywhere. I had angels in the walls, they were stuck and my voices told me to tear down the walls to release them. I didn’t.

I’ve heared that you have to stay away from grapefruit, but never heared about lemon or oranges.

The lamictal and prisiq have been working pretty well through this and geodon. My resume also consists of Zoloft, Ablilify, and Geodon. I did really well on Geodon except I wanted to sleep sleep sleep. I got switched to Latuda because it was in the same family, but probably wouldn’t make me feel as tired. I felt more away but under a lot of stress. Suddenly a lot of other people became idiots… Not so many that I knew I was the problem for sure, but enough to worry me. I’ve been on spring break while I tried the lower dose. Not sure if it’s going to make anyone look any smarter yet.

If I remember reading your posts correctly, you’re a girl too right? Have you noticed any consistent change in symptoms once a month? I’ve always sorta suspected my hormones were plotting against me. Have you ever been on anything that stops your monthly cycle? Did it help any? Life seemed simpler on that med.

What if you combine two? Geodon and latuda. Can that be done? I don’t know. But one that works really well but makes you sleepy and another that wakes you up in the morning and keeps you awake through the day. I know ppl combine Zyprexa and Abilify.

If it’s me you replied to, yes I’m a girl too. I have done a hysterectomy. I have no periods anymore. I was in so much pain every month, it was like labours. I couldn’t stand it, could hardly breathe.

But I got ill after I’ve done it so I don’t know about hormone changes.

I’m sorry if this is intrusive, but do you have any children? I don’t really want to pass on my genes but C thinks he might want a kid (if I decide to have one a genetic test is going to happen). I plan to work if we do have one and he is going to be a stay at home Dad (I have ambitions). All the same though, I don’t want my kid to end up in therapy twenty years later because I never smiled at her/him! Having the experience you had and with what is going on now would you recommend it? Or just pamper a few kittie cats? I don’t want an accident to happen and I am tempted to remove the possibility now. Sorry that this is so random, but I think you have seen more of life than I have have and would like your wisdom, please.

I have two kids. I got them before my major breakdown. They were 9 and 6 when I got really ill and ended up in hospital for 6 months. My 9-yearold took it hard. He didn’t want to visit me and was in a lot of fights in school. He has PDD-NOS. It took me two years to be back to somewhat normal again. But the kids remember. They can’t trust me to be there for them for ever. I crashed once and who knows I will do it again.

I’ve talked to my older boy, he is 12 now, and he has been with me to my psychologist. He knows I had a psychosis. He knows the signs I’m getting worse. I become aggitated, easily angry, stop sleeping. He has to tell dad when that happens and then my husband tells me to contact my pdoc.

I wouldn’t trade my kids for anything in this world. BUT when I get psychotic I cannot take care of them. I have no energy, I am very much occupied with what is going on with me. Very selfish if you want to see it that way.

If your BF is there for you when you get psychotic and supports you and you can trust him to be there when you have kids and can’t take as much responsibility at home I don’t see why you shouldn’t have kids. It is very much up to you if you can see early signs and stop a psychotic break before it explodes in your face, then you might be able to be there for your kids all the time.

It is very stressful to have small children. If you get a baby your BF has to be prepared to get up in the night to soothe and maybe feed the baby so you can sleep. Sleep deprivation can throw you back into a psychotic break.

Thank you for answering. I realized what an awkward question it was after I logged off. I just really thought I should get some outside opinions. Thank you!

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there’s something that happen when ur meds go down quickly called a dopemine spike. it’s where it shoots up for a little bit after being surpressed. this can cause symptoms but only till u adjust to the new dose so give it time. if ur still feeling bad after a few weeks i would defo change ur meds. xxx

@onceapoet That’s ok. You can ask me anything about it. I have a sorrow in my heart that I have a autistic kid. Him being sad over his condition makes me sad too.

But he trains to manage on his own. He lives in a group home for kids. The goal is to make him self supportive. He is 12 years old but 5 in his mind.

He is learning how to cook and clean his room. Do the dishes and so on. He had 1-2 lessons/day in school.

You never know what kind of kid you will get. Sometimes you will get an extra challenge. But I don’t think you will love your special child any less.

I understood your post and that’s a pretty good indicator you need more meds not less, go back to your doctor,