Warning: crude late-night wisdom from my dad

DX'd - Other
#1

When I was growing up I would complain to my dad that I wished I had a better car or I wished I had a better job or I wished I had better friends.
He would always say, " Wish in one hand, and sh*t in the other and see which one fills up faster"!

My dad was very eloquent.

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#2

I remember the Calvin and Hobbes strip where Calvin won’t stop complaining about being cold. His mom makes him stand outside for a few minutes and tells him when he comes back in it will seem really warm.

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