My voice in choir sounded different to me 16 hours ago. I stood between S—– and J–, a Limey among Krauts. I held the music binder reverently in my hands as I sang, but the tones issuing from my throat, tho virile and deep, present and clear, rang false and didn’t gel. I was the “devil’s feces” among Lutherans, and it was audible and palpable. Sound the alarm: Robert is a Jewish sympathizer. He is a liar and a leper: we don’t want his kind. In the fellowship hall, J– dropped in his conversation a remark about the lying Jews. I let it pass, just anxious to get out of the war zone. My cover was blown, the spiritual airwaves at war, the sirens screaming bloody murder and death to the infidel. I had opened my mouth to sing in the wrong place, and the gamma rays contaminated the whole service. We all heard and felt it. Whose god was causing the blue notes? It was mine, so I guess the lying’s over. I don’t belong amid the Lutherans.
Love it! It makes you feel the anguish of the subject.
Where are you from @Borath? I see this stuff on TV and some parts of the internet but not in reality. I mean here in the US we basically worry about our families, making meals, paying bills, healthcare and such. We’re basically a melting pot who has gotten along.
War talk does not belong in church. Only those who are suffering until they can’t keep still will bring it up. And there are those people. They are in pain and can’t sing praises to the Lord.
You are taking my impressionism too literally, my friend. But yes, J-- did actually say that about the “lying Jews.” He pursued that a certain musician named “Rodriguez” was a sort of cult Bob Dylan who had a big following in S. Africa, but not in the USA, where he was from. I thought the conversation was mighty strange. My evocations of air raid sirens and such are intended for my subjective experience portrayed, only.
I live in Oregon, USA.
Thanks for your support, as always.
It just concerns me sometimes cause here in America we always basically got along. The internet and news seems to be trying to portray some other side other than reality. But yeah I love your writings even this. I asked because I was curious. Words are words, push comes to shove we all will stand together.
Thanks a lot for this reply. Another member here used the term “in remission” in reference to something biblical. I wish I knew where to find that idea now. Remember what I said about Thomas Mann’s metaphor of a sanitorium for the “disease” that had broken out in Europe? Well, I suspect that it still goes on, and in America, too; not to mention on personal levels like my own. The “biblical disease” is general and personal, both. I could sound wacky here, but I think it’s something I just begin to comprehend. Please keep in touch as much as possible. What is “hospice” for the mentally ill, anyway? Ciao.
@Borath. Hospice is for end of life care, it’s for my physical illness, not my mental illness.
I’m sorry to hear of that. I didn’t know. I hope things work out better than anyone expects. Best wishes, Robert
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