If you’ve ever dealt with people like this, you know how much they drain your will to resist their demands. I feel like I’m damaged beyond repair right now, like I’m a total mindslave to this ■■■■■■■. I’m having trouble finding words to describe how they’ve gotten me to rollover for them. But I believe I’m codependant. It’s sucking the good out of life. It sucks that I was born a sibling to someone like this, but whatever.
There’s a ton of things I could complain about in my life, not going the way I wanted them to. Things in my life that weren’t my choice or out of my control that led to worse outcomes. Oh well. Guess I’ll just retire from giving a care. I always halfassed it anyways.
I agree, but I think there’s some legitimate blame that can be leveled at me for being too passive. Like when I let this person borrow things, I’m really just trying to avoid the consequences of refusing. I’m capable of being assertive, but not if it means inducing a tantrum worthy of world war 3. Then I get reminded when I get mad about them borrowing my things constantly, that I let them take them, which I did but… I don’t want to paint myself as some sort of helpless pillbug, but I need strategies to arguing against this sort of twisted logic.
I have that passivity problem too. I stayed in a relationship that I didn’t like way too long. I know how hard it can be to resist such things, but there was no one besides myself that could have gotten me out of that relationship. It wasn’t fair to me, and it wasn’t fair to my partner. What I do now is figure out how much is at stake in a situation, and decide what I’m going to do to get the best outcome for everyone, especially me.
These kinds of relationships are soul crushing, whether it be a friendship, romance, or family. It makes you hate yourself and destroys your self esteem. Stand up for yourself, it’ll help you in the long run