Voices don't like my Grandad

DX'd - Other
#1

I’ve been having these for a while and they are upsetting me. Every time he comes over, they say things like this in my head:

He has a very loud voice, why does he have to shout all the time instead of just talking?

Why does he have to come over every single week?

He hates you, thinks you’re a waste of space. You’re cousins all have jobs but not you.

Why can’t he sit complaining on his own sofa?

He is very old so at least soon he will be d***

The last one makes me feel like a terrible person. I hate it.

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#2

Is it voices or intrusive thoughts?

Anyway I’m reading my module guides atm after 2.5hrs I have 1 down and 1 to go!

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#3

I’m not sure how to tell the difference. They speak inside my mind like lots of evil twins and all I can do is listen.

I am going to self-teach A-level biology, minus the stuff about plants. Maybe chemistry too.

But first I need to tidy my desk and organise everything. My room is like a mini WHSmiths!

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#4

I’m sorry your head is saying mean things about your grandfather. Does it sound like your voice or a different voice?Because if it’s your voice it might be intrusive thoughts. If it’s a different voice it might be auditory hallucinations.

#5

It is a different voice but still female. I can feel her breath on my brain as well which is really weird.

I am playing loud music so I cannot hear my family speaking so the voices cannot comment on them.

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#6

Please don’t feel guilty and beat yourself up over something that one of your voices said. If you could control your voices I bet you would choose not to have any negative ones. Perhaps you would choose not to have any at all. They are kind of like emotions they just pop up. We can control what we do about them but we can’t stop them from happening. And try to remember no one but you can actually hear them.

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#7

Thanks, I just feel like such a horrible person when this stuff pops up in my head.
I could hear my Grandad speaking downstairs 30 mins after he left…

I don’t know how to stop them from controlling me. I can’t even tell any of the mental health team about what’s been happening because they might punish me.
E.g. yesterday a voice was telling me to strangle a certain family member, I was about to but then suddenly I thought “what the f*** am I doing?” and I just tickled them instead. I’m glad I gained some control there.

#8

I think it becomes a problem when you do what the voices say.

Although It’s probably worth telling your team, so they can load you on the appropriate philological intervention/ medication as soon as possible, which is what the EIP is all about :slight_smile:

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#9

Wouldn’t they get social services involved and have me removed from my house?

Even so, I care about my brother so much. If the world was ending and I could save one person, it would be him. I don’t want to ever hurt him.

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#10

I have had some vegetables now and feel a bit better. I think a lack of nutrients got me distressed.

#11

Only if they thought you were a threat to yourself and others, then they might get a AMP and a MH Act assessment, but you don’t need that!

It’s about sharing enough to get you the help you deserve & keeping yourself safe at the same time!

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#12

I think about gross stuff all the time and feel bad about it, but you shouldn’t when voices say those unwanted things. It really has nothing to do with your true opinion when they speak independently at least in my experience.

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