Visitations

I don’t know how else to call it but a “visitation” but I have them with a few historical figures. One is Marie Laveau (the voodoo queen)…she has broken every bone in my body at one point & nowadays she’s setting them all back into the right configuration, but it is VERY painful. I don’t know if I can handle it sometimes. But she’s almost like a mother to me & I know she does it because she really does love me.

Another is James Baldwin. He’s an exceptional friend to me, but I always feel inadequate for it. Who am I to be visited by and cared for by such an important man? He really helps me keep perspective & “in touch” with the world outside myself & my own problems.

The last is an ancient Hindu mystic poet, Mirabai. She helps me with love & sexuality stuff…basically my feelings about what it is to be a woman.

I am sharing this because I’m curious if anyone else have similar beliefs & experiences (“delusions” & “hallucinations” sure…). These people are so precious to me…I hardly believe I deserve their attention but I am so grateful for it. I know I truly would not be here today if it weren’t for their help. Part of me also resents them for it but that’s a topic for me & my therapist. :sunglasses:

Sometimes when I talk to the dead, I’ll come across people who claim to be historical figures, they just spout the same hurtful nonsense most my voices do. I’ve also felt the presence of spirits. Calming and shining. Those few spirits are dear to me because I feel they embody love.

It gets hard sometimes to remind myself it isn’t real, it always feels so real

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It is so hard. I think part of me would be absolutely crushed to have to come to terms with their not being real. The other part of me doesn’t believe in any of this kind of thing. It’s a strange split.

Anyway, I know you touched upon this a bit in that other post of yours…it’s comforting to hear someone else having a similar experience. I’m sorry they can be abusive for you, though…

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These be careful

I had a similar experience with having voices and they turned on me now it’s a nightmare getting tested for food and smoking

I’ve had some amazing lucid dreams.
It’s like if I feel sad I will dream this amazing occurance and it helps balance out my psyche. What I don’t get in real life, I get in dreams and it a great experience and makes up for my disappointment in reality lol
I have dreamt about meeting / seeing Jesus also sometimes and it’s been really nice as I’m not religious. Very pleasant. I do feel it’s just chemicals in the brain though that produce these feelings. Uphoria is a chemical state of mind, nothing more.
I’m happy my psyche is starting to give back and right the wrongs in my life as at one time I really believed spirits / demons were visiting / after me. Aka night terrors that I have ptsd from and other things.

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