Violent intent

The home I have. There are too many hidden agendas and half truths.

I have a lot of unresolved hate and anger at the moment with the immediate relatives around me,

And the kind of violent intent I feel (in this moment) is the “next level up”.

I feel like, if I get all the glassware in the house, and go to the garden, then smash every one by throwing against the wall or the floor - I can resolve the feeling temporarily

Then though, it will come back because I acted on it

And then again, and again, till eventually I be violent on a person, not because of an action in present time but just because all I feel is all the unresolved actions that haven’t been addressed

I don’t really want to go to a nurse and say “hi I have strong resentment” help me, what would you do?

I’m very sorry if I am breaking rules, I just think or want to think, a discussion can solve this or alleviate this

I’d tell your doctor that you’re getting violent urges.

2 Likes

Just to add some of what you’re describing is Resentment. It’s a tough one for me as well.

Don’t get creative in your arguments, and don’t be self deprecating either… you made your point but throwing around the word homicidal is probably over the top.

I think you’re better than THAT.

1 Like

They’ll write in records, and then I’m concerned of the stigma

I know it’s for good, but idk who reads that and how they’ll behave or act on the knowledge

Worst comes to worst, a satanic attendant in a psychiatric unit sees it and decides to test “the patient that is written as can be violent”

I know it’s absurd but, it’s a thought nonetheless

1 Like

That’s a better word, resentment, and yeah, that was a / is stupid a word to use, the imagery was all I was grasping at, thank you, resentment is what I mean

(Apologies all, words aren’t my strong point)

I felt the same way towards my brother, exact same thoughts

How do you stem and control the feeling and thought

1 Like

Nothing seems to work, it’s all consuming at the time. I like to relax and I don’t want anything to interfere with that and I k ow if I hurt my brother I’d probably regret it and all the hassle that goes with it such as being arrested and sectioned with an even bigger stigma attached to me from being violent, people wouldn’t think I was a good guy and I like people to know I am good and kind hearted and one flash of madness would change all that. I just like not to have anything on my concionse man ya know it’s too stressful, things are just better when you don’t hurt anyone. You still have to live with that nasty feeling of people taking Adavantage of you and getting away with it but it’s better than be sectioned and doing something you would regret in the long term

Holy c*it, do you need a med adjustment?

I remember getting those feelings like 10 years ago before I was even on medication.

I get violent urges too - mostly to scream and throw things

1 Like

I think instead of saying you have resentment, you should say you have violent urges. You need to tell your pdoc right away

1 Like

Go exercise till your too tired

I wouldn’t say the problem is meant to be controlled by nullifying emotions,

That will just create more and more dissatisfaction w my surroundings and eventual self direction violence

I’d rather have the problem fixed properly, but that’s not going to happen any time soon

I take walks regularly, Yes it may calm or soothe my soul but I know the hate and irritation will come back the next time the subject of schizophrenia and it’s affect comes back around. The people in this family (the majority) are the most selfish disgraceful vermin

Ah i see so you have hatred towards there stigma about schizophrenia.
Try to accept there ignorance and refusal to understand.
Most people dont understand that dont have mental illness

That’s all well and good, but how am I meant to progress, recover and achieve my wants of success or whatever vision, if I am held back?

These people are the only people who can sign as guarantors if I attempt to set up living elsewhere and they refuse so

@anon1466656 I think you need to speak candidly with your pdoc about your resentment and anger and your thoughts of violent intent.

Do you have a therapist? They can help you develop better coping strategies to manage your anger.

2 Likes

You might have to do it without them

I’m waiting to be assigned a psychiatrist,

These people take you seriously, but they are not the people I think of to seek assistance from - something about the set up just doesn’t live upto my sense of trust ; I’ll be honest - I am afraid of nhs and health services (perhaps still recovering from delusion)

I don’t know how that is possible, landlords don’t accept tenants without guarantors do they?

I am not sure I can present the case of being financially responsible because I have no referees who can vouch for that with and evidence - nobody will say yes. Malik is trustworthy and will meet his financial responsibilities is what I am saying