I feel depressed. Sometimes it feels like I will never be able to live independently or overal leave my family’s home. My family environment is bad. Not horrible, but bad. They’re not bad ppl. Simply they are toxic.
I hate myself at the moment… no one truly cares about me in my life. Closest people don’t give a s h i t
I would love to leave this place, but whenever we get into harsh argument with my BF, I come back home. And he doesn’t seem to always care how toxic environment is in my home.
I hate my brother which is drug addict. I dislike the fact that parents are manipulative and overuse alcohol.
I feel alone here. I tried many times leaving my home, but somehow (it’s destiny maybe?) my parents starts pretend to care and I come back. First days quite nice, then name-calling and manipulations crawl back again.
I hate myself. I am too stupid to finally leave this place forever. I am too forgiving and stupid, again.
And I probably need to take a break from forum.
I fear of becoming too depressed or angry now… and then I will start spread negativity here
You’re not stupid. I am sorry you’re going through all of this with your family and brother. I hope you will be able to find a more peaceful environment one day. I think for now, do things that bring you peace and happiness. That’s what I try to do. I hope things will improve for you.
Thanks, @anon63380492 
I hope this too. I try to put lots of effort to leave this place. And I also try to be at peace atleast with me…
You were looking for a job. How’s that going? That could be your ticket to independence?
Still looking!
Today I have two news:
- My English is not enough for being a copywriter,
- But ppl said my
(native language) is enough. I am really not bad in my native language!
At the moment I an very happy.
As I get lots of support from people in one community in facebook! They all said “Try to write, you’re not bad!”
I’ve had really bad depression for a number of years. You’re not stupid. If you feel you need help please go get it. Depression is nothing to toy with. I hope you feel better. Hugs rox
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