It’s the only word I can find to label how I feel. Like I’m a building built from experience. A vast array of custom spaces. Vistas of memories. A penthouse perched upon a life of pleasantries and conveniences far above my station. Wasting opportunities as one expels breath. I sit alone in this massive home, not a photo on the wall. Not one name in my registry. Not one reason to have laid these bricks. Not once giving thought to the fact, i possess no key to enter or get out. From my windows I can see to the horizon. Roads in every direction, marked with countless bridges, many burned, none crossed. No friends made, no friends lost. I just keep building this vacant home, in this vacant home I’m lost.
Well said, but im sorry that’s your experience and situation. It’s not easy to feel that way or experience that.
I know how you feel, I’ve built a mansion around me with huge walls.