Schizophrenia.com

Unusual beliefs that I wouldn't otherwise fall for?

Like I’m going for some healing sessions. It cost a lot of money. And yesterday I did a session where I called a man who helps you remove karma from past lives. Wtf. I am not religious at all but now is a different story

I was told once by a case worker never to undergo past life regression as it was all too close to the surface, she was probably right , it is. I joked that I’d probably end up lying on some woman’s couch with a steak drilled into my heart lol. Yes, I believe in past lives, reincarnation. I’m not religious either, but am far too open minded to be anything approaching an atheist like my brother. I am however prone to drunken episodes of religiosity which have been occasionally apparent on this site unfortunately,.

Don’t waste your money on alternative treatments that do nothing to help you.

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The Pentecostals down the road from my old apartment tried to perform an exorcism at my house after finding out I had schizophrenia…

I also went to a ‘psychic healer’ who said she could cure my SZ for 100…I sued the crap out of her…paid 100 for the ‘cure’ and got 10,000 from her ebcuase her ‘cure’ gave me a serious gastrointestinal poisoning…the stupid twit put nightshade in a tonic…said it would ‘kill the poisons inside’ me…

10,000? If I could sue I’d take it all the way to the Hague, what was going on in my neck of the woods was straight up human rights abuses, not by the government, but a psychiatrist with ties to a gruesome underworld who had a contract with local police departments to have anyone he wanted picked up and brought to his office for chemically induced brain damage. I was running jobs for him at one point, got him the chemical he used to kill the minds of whoever threatened what he had going.

If I didn’t have to put up with half the torment of which of course cannot be spoken of daily, I’d just want to move on with my life and live peacefully and as fully as I could manage at this point. But I feel at times as if I’m being provoked, like some measure of hellish torment is going to make me do something rash. It’s not. I’m a pacifist as passionate as I am. My wolrd may be small, and I may be very alone as they seem to want, but I stand true in my conviction that if not in this life, the truth will prevail.

It’s funny, ironic really, that I learned from my father my convictions in honesty and turning the other cheek and peacably submitting to whatever hand may be slapping you, on his part, it was all a lie, a ruse, he’s in fact the most dishonest hypocrite I’ve ever known. If he weren’t so critical of the outright dishonest I might be less hard on the man, but at least those he’s critical of are upfront about their behavior rather than going his route.

If I could sue…I’ve tried I believe. I’ve gone so far as to have tried.

Jees you know we resonsable for our actions, you need to do right thing and report him, get evidence, phone him record convo at all times, cause he make out your crazy, You need to put things write not ignore, then maybe you could move on, knowing you did right, x

This was over fifteen years ago if not more, I went as far as walking straight into the federal building at 14 and speaking with the FBI. Believe me, they did not want to hear it. Thing is, apparently, this stuff was going on all over the place, this guy was just using it to his own advantage.

Reasonable? Heh. Oh boy. An eye for an eye makes for a criminal and a criminal, an eye taken where no eye was taken, makes for…well. Wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.

I had a Fiance they did that sh*t to in the 80’s…I guess the US constitution and anything pertaining to human rights is just about toilet paper to the likes of whatever I’ve awoken to find myself surrounded by.

Freedom of speech, freedom of thought, freedom of being…always.

I understand alot went on in 70s 80s could not control, My Father was in with Kray twins he would go threaten any grasses, like take sawn of shotgun in hospital, threaten them not to talk, My Father was pretty crazy, Me i am a peacefull soul and good, Thats why I refuse to talk to family left when i was 17 with Mum went into hiding, What i am trying to say anything personnel will not go any further, x

In the 60s, My Mum met the girlfrien god bless her who killed her self, it sounded a crazy time, My FATHER IS A MULTI MILLIONAIR, DO YOU THINK I WOULD WANT ANYTHING TODO WITH HIM HE IS JUST A HORRIBLE LITTLE MAN WHO HAS GUNS AND KNIFES, i am a good person like my Mum she was beutifull soul x

No guns and knives that I know of here, but money does seem to come out of nowhere and when I ask about it they answer with stammered replies. I saw a movie once, back when I was into indie films, about a man who lived as a tenant in an apartment complex and as a hobby built little bridges and buildings. At the end you discover that this man was in fact a wealthy architect and his landlady his ex-wife who had caused him to forget about his past in order to profit from him and use him.

I feel like this guy sometimes. Though unlike him, I don’t come aware of it all right at the end, but everytime I become aware, I forget. Until now, having reintegrated what memories I have, I live in the hell they’ve somehow inhumanly constructed for me. I have my own place, probably very much my own, my sister probably benefits from the same appropriation of funds.

There was no getting away though, no escaping. No matter where I was, I always ended up somehow back whereever they wanted me, usually some hellhole on the basis of which we’ve invaded sovereign nations of keeping as institutions as we ourselves keep. It’s all lies. When I think back, as a self taught student of human history, whatever abomination has replaced earth’s rightful inhabitants, I can only say I’d like to say are worse are no better.

Go Home.

You are the person you are today, You did whatever to survive, may i ask if had one wish what would it be x

going to watch video link tomorrow i gave my speakers about 2 hours ago to my best friend in other room x

If I had one wish today? That’s difficult, part of me wants to say to find love again and part of me wants to say to wake up in a world that makes sense (the lie basically)

I would draw a line at how much money you will pay. Watch out for them raising the cost again and again. Don’t let yourself get drawn in to that.