@Jonathan79. If you were possessed how did you become unpossessed? I went thru exorcisms but everything came back…
zyprexa killed my bad and good possessions. Before I take it I call it the demon killer. It came back as well when I switched to invega because of high cholestreal. I have had to take higher then the recommended dose to get the effect. It’s zyprexa or bust.
My demons speak in different tones of voice…sometimes high & sometimes deep.
I sometimes wonder about demons. When I’m in a rational mood, I tend to think it’s nonsense. When I’m scared, I tend to believe there might be something like possession going on. When I was scared, my son (then 4 years old) once started to point at something behind me and scream “go away! go away from us!”. I did not tell or show him that I was scared, so I always wondered what it was. I mostly try just not to think of that.
When I was more psychotic than now, I went to some prayer session. They saw all these images and told me I was possessed. They prayed and sang and did all those rituals to drive demons out of me. It was quite scary really. Afterwards I felt extremely relaxed and sleepy. But two days later all my fears came back. I thought that the Holy Spirit had left me and the demons were coming back because I was empty and unprotected.
My mum thought they were criminals going through such a scary ritual with someone so vulnerable.
I don’t have this delusion anymore, but I used to have delusions that I was possessed by demons and that I was the antichrist. I considered it (and still do to this day) to be odd because I’m agnostic/atheistic. Yet at the same time, I don’t really think it’s too odd since I was raised by a Catholic family and I will sometimes revert to my ‘religious’ ways (but in a radicalized form) when I become delusional.
I don’t really understand where these ideas of mine came from either. I haven’t been raised in a religious family, but went to a christian primary school. Before I was psychotic, I believed there might be a God, but he was love, and I would incidentally visit some church, but also a mosque, or a buddhist temple, or even an aurareader once (just for fun). For the rest I lived a completely secular life. I was not scared of God at all. The concept of “sin” played no role in my life. I thought the whole idea of Jesus dying for our sins, demons, devil, hell, etcetera was nonsense.
Then, in my psychoses, I suddenly turned into this superfundamentalist christian girl, with a major fear of sin and hell and extremely literal approach to the bible. Weird.
Now…I don’t really know what to believe anymore. I think there’s more than we know, but what…
I went to exorcists also. I t worked temporarily
Hey. I don’t think ice ever felt like I was possessed but I experienced something similar kinda. Sometimes I get a feeling like there is someone looking threw my eyes, it feels like it’s not me, but someone else… it’s really weird
I understand that thru the eyes thing…
Yea it’s the weirdest thing…happens to me alot
Yes but I think it’s a combination of nature and nurture for me. I grew up in a pretty hardcore Evangelical environment and there was a lot of fire & brimstone fear mongering, fear and shame were used as major control tactics. Demons were a common topic, and everything “bad” was blamed on demons, everything from mental illness to substance abuse to people having affairs. If you were not strictly in line in every way you were “supposed” to be, you were considered to be under demonic influence. I think all of this was deeply embedded in my subconscious mind as a child, and I think my psychosis experiences draw upon that material a lot. I have a hard time believing that my episodes would so frequently include demons if I hadn’t grown up in that environment. There are some dead giveaways (in my opinion) much of the time, such as similarities with what I perceive and I was taught about as a young child who didn’t know any better.
I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one who has experienced ideas like this while psychotic, though I also feel sorry for you for having gone through them. Even as a person who does not believe in God anymore, I find the delusions to be scary. While I’m “under the influence” of the delusion, I become extremely fearful and I’ll stress myself out over every little thing that I do because I don’t want to make God angry. I find my thinking and behavior when I fall back into this delusion to be strange for an atheist. Maybe it’s because of the psychosis being so real to me in the moment? Maybe it’s reliving prior mental stress from growing up Catholic?
As an atheist/agnostic girl, I believe that there could be more out there as well, yet I have no clue of what it is. It’s all definitely very mind-boggling.
after my mother in law talked about getting me prayed over that night I had feeling like I was possessed but rationalizing it took a few hours but soon enough it went away,
No, as weird as it souds i think these voices are actually god and they are in control of everybody even me. Not a good god but a god that just leads destinity to whatever it leads to.
Yes, I’m the same when I’m delusional. I’m also "happy’ to read that someone experiences the same. When I’m psychotic, I’m also stressing over everything I feel, think and do, thinking it’s all a sin and God will be angry. I get out of psychosis and do all these things and get back in and think I’m a big sinner.
Something else I find strange…I’ve never read much in the bible (it’s triggering now)…but when I’m psychotic I suddenly remember all sorts of random bible texts that I read years and years ago and interpret them in a very literal way. F.e. I thought it was judgement day in my psychosis. My unconscious somehow remembered a text saying people should fast on judgement day. So I didn’t eat or drink all day long. No clue why my unconscious even remembered texts like that.
I have been thinking a lot why this comes up. It depends on my mood what explanation my mind comes up with, varying from “it’s all a real warning from God” to “upbringing/exposure to these things triggered it”. I’m thinking back…and there were actually some triggering things. My abusive ex’s sister sent me movies/books of demons eating your soul when you sin and some dark father figure abusing a light child figure and things like that. I also read some things on freemasonry on the day I collapsed into my first psychosis. I only remember that now. This is of course a strong trigger. There’s a lot of such references everywhere in our culture.
I’ve read that in the West, people have way more religious psychoses than in f.e. Japan.
That’s how I feel…,
I remember that sometimes while I was in my Catholic middle school, I’d sometimes read the Bible out of boredom when I didn’t have anything to do. I also read it because I was interested in the stories in it and what it had to say about things, even though I was a budding agnostic person. While I ironically don’t search up Bible verses often when I’m in a religiously delusional state, the verse against homosexual acts/homosexuality seems to be one that sticks with me the most because I am bisexual, with a preference for other females.
I am kind of the same, whenever I try to figure out what’s causing me to behave so out of character when I’m delusional and ‘switching back’ to my former religion. With me having negative experiences in a Catholic school (though it was legitimately a good school, but traumatic things happened there), I believe that exposure to the beliefs and the traumatic things I faced causes me to at this way at times when I become delusional. And that’s so uncalled for of your ex’s sister, but I’m glad that you’re away from them now. Reflecting on your statement of references to religion everywhere, you’re definitely right about that.
Also I find the fact about people in Western countries have more psychoses relating to religion to be interesting, but at the same time, it doesn’t really surprise me all that much.
P.S. Sorry for the late reply!
I have in the past yeah.
The girl’s voice that I’d hear occasionally in my teens just saying my name or even warning me of danger began only to say “(mussel) I’m scared”. I awoke at 4:45 one morning hearing a man’s voice saying “Come out!” and this bone chilling hissing whisper came from within me (not my head) but from within me saying “Nevvvvvver!” The dogs awoke at the same time and both came to the bedside.
All I knew of this voice was that it was female if even human would tell me only “my body lies beneath a bog” Us locals call them marshes so this voice ain’t local.
There were times, well I’ve witnessed the absolutely impossible, it just went way too far to be all inside my head. That said I don’t pretend to know what it is exactly or adopt existing explanations of such things, nor do I discount them as fiction as I know we live in a bizarre world where the bizarre is pretended not to exist.
In other words, the emperor is butt naked people, and I’m calling him out on it.
I feel like that at all the time. I use to think the spirit vs the flesh. I get all sort of information coming at times that its hard to desentize it all and make sense of it to the best of my ability. I mean I have it to where its manageable for me now and It doesn’t bother me as much because I understand it. They have this book called “The Devil beside me” you should take a look at it sometime might help.
Like in my situation I feel possessed but I let heaven and hell fight it out, because that’s where it belongs. I mean all technical and paranoid but its not that its something beyond that in the paranormal world. Being a psychic and diagnosed with schizophrenia at the same time is like a double edge sword because I have to learn to separate it. They say that psychics don’t have mental health problems my ass they don’t and they make it look like that online that psychics are perfect in there ways and have no problems. Or maybe you feel subdued like I do and suppressed because of everything that’s going on. Nobody else can hear but you that’s an advantage you have if your willing to see whats going on and believe! I use affirmations as well try surround myself around positive people, things etc. because it always out weighs the bad any day. Maybe they are two timming or scapegoating that’s for you to identify.
So I completely understand what your going through, because of these issues. Devil has its ways and so does heaven…
Hope you have a great day!
I believe we as humans can be controlled thru frequencies in airwaves. I believe that’s what “the divine” does to guide our lives without our recognition. I also believe humanity is at the point that we can do it too but i don’t see it as a likelyness for us because there are bigger fish to fry than folk like us in our modest means in society .