Unsure of how to cope

My mom is an alcoholic. Pretty much the only thing that stops her from being blackout drunk out of her mind all day is that my dad hides and regulates the alcohol with her. Issue is she recently found the alcohol. Result: she has been completely wasted the past few days and making life at the house a nightmare. She’s not mean or aggressive or abusive or anything she’s just totally insane, uncomfortably affectionate and ignores all boundaries and social cues/appropriate behavior and just makes a fool of herself in general. She also neglects herself and the drinking causes her significant health issues. She kept harassing my little sisters (they are 14) to the point where I offered them to be able to stay in our upstairs room with us so i could tell my mom we were having sister time and she couldn’t bother them or make them hang with her while she was out of it.

One day I managed to catch her sober enough to have a talk with her. I felt like it was a really good talk, we cried, hugged it out, she finally for the first time admitted she was an alcoholic. Apparently she said she had had problems with alcohol since before I was born and used to go to AA. Her mom was an alcoholic too which I didn’t know either. Anyways I felt the talk was good. I talked with my dad that same day about what was happening and he actually got a lock for the liquor cabinet and everything. I felt proud of myself and hopeful. She was drunk again that same night.

I know it’s not a magical overnight healing process. At least she is back to only getting drunk at night once everyone goes to bed again. For now anyways. But her instability seriously impacts me. For one it triggers my own drinking problem. I’ve started drinking almost all day again. I don’t really get drunk, it’s more like I just sip all day into the night, but it’s still bad. For another thing it makes me badly depressed that my mom is dealing with addiction and how it impacts my family, it gives me a lot of stress and I feel like all the burden of helping her is on me since she refuses to seek any other help for herself despite my repeated urging and references given.

My husband has become really really upset with my mom due to her inappropriate behavior while drunk and also the impact she has on me. He says he thinks maybe it is not good that we live with my parents. The thing is we don’t really have a choice. We don’t have the money to live on our own. I don’t know what I should do. Anyone else have an alcoholic family member? How do you cope and navigate that relationship? I love my mom and want to be a support to her but I don’t like that the whole burden of helping her is being put on me. My dad didn’t even do anything to step in, not even to keep her away from my sisters, until I literally told him what to do. It is very frustrating and makes me feel alone and overburdened. I have enough on my plate already. But if I step back, she falls apart and everything goes to crap. She was literally killing herself before I moved in. My brother and dad have told me that me having moved in has helped her hugely.

summary: mom is an alcoholic and is having a relapse. It is triggering my own issues with alcohol and making me depressed and stressed out. She won’t seek help from anyone except me, placing all the pressure on me to guide her to recovery. My husband thinks that living with my parents isn’t so good for me after all but we can’t afford to live on our own and if I’m not around to spend time with, support and guide my mom she literally just destroys herself and the rest of the family has no idea how to help her or doesn’t bother to. Idk what to do. :disappointed::disappointed:

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Does she have any healthcare that she can at least check up on her liver

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It’s hard but you can’t use it as an excuse for you to drink too. How does she listen to you if your drinking too? Just saying. I’ve had my battles with alcohol in the past too but it’s one of those things. I know things are tough economically for lots of us but it’s easy to fall into old problems.

Just saying for your health that falling back to old habits isn’t the way to go and maybe you need some help too?

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That must be tough. My mum doesnt drink. She says she likes it too much so stayes away from it. Its difficult to determine what to do ay. Sometimes people cant get help until they want it themselves. Or if they hit absolute rock bottom. Sometimes even that doesnt do it though.
Just make sure to take care of yourself before anyone else. You cant be a help to anyone if your a mess too.

Have you heard of Al anon? It’s for people affected by others drinking.

There’s various ways to help with your mother’s drinking if she’s willing to get help.

A good first step would be to contact your family doctor.

She could also return to AA
She could take Naltrexone to help
She could take Antabuse

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