I used to be in stress to do something special to compensate my sz. But these days i don’t care anymore.
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I was the same. But I still find myself daydreaming about doing something special. It’s just daydreams now though.
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I fought the ‘Hero Complex’ as well when I was psychotic…feeling the need to accomplish something tremendous.
These days though, I’m quite content being a sane father to my wife and little girls…working to put food on the table…and taking care of daily business. I’ll be a hero to my family first, and make the world wait for my next big thing. 
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You can do little things like I used to sponsor an orphan in China. It was $35 a month. The Philip Hayden Foundation
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All I really wanted ever in my life was a relationship with a girl but I’m afraid it’s almost impossible to get a relationship with a girl with my illness… So I feel I have to do something really special to get a relationship and that’s the only reason I still daydream about this stuff.
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A lot of people do special stuff to get sex, recognition.
I felt not being recognised. I done so much work on myself that i don’t bother anymore.
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Ppl are looking at themselves and thinking about themselves versus anyone else 90/10. That ten oercent has to be divided up inequally among everyone else outside the control center.
Its a crazy world when people cant really see what others are feeling. But it also frees you up to be less self conscious! If someone hurt you or made fun of you, most of the time they were swinging in the dark.
Don’t take any of it to heart…they are just as afraid of being made fun of themselves!
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Really though, compensation is not a dirty word, If you have less punching power, throw more punches than the other fighter.
If you have a weak chin, learn to move fast.
If you have no stamina, lay on the ropes and clinch.
If you simply cannot cope, pay the mafia to rig the fight!
JK 
Most anything is possible!
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I still have this. The thoughts are way too much about it. Its totally overdoing it. I think its just something like never ever possible stuff. Like writing a book, writing an indie game or becoming a skateboarding or bodybuilding pro. It really makes me way too cranky.
@Vuldarz, Writing a book or a musical score is not impossible. I’ve done both. It’s getting them published or recorded that is darn near impossible. But, I’ve either done or am doing both of those too. You just got to have the mullah.
It’s only for a moment that I imagine that in my head. I also tried it once. Only I was ashamed that someone else could read it. So I deleted the first pages of the book again.
I often have things like that, throw things away or get rid of them because I feel ashamed. As if I did not quite stand behind myself.
Lack of confidence. I am always questions myself, doubting. What if i am wrong?
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