I have this issue where if people are upset with me or there’s just an uncomfortable amount of negativity I clam up and can’t talk.
It’s really frustrating, I just can’t think of anything to say and it makes my anxiety act up when people are sitting there expecting a response and they’re like “are you even gonna say anything?”.
It’s like no dude,■■■■, you just being rude and mean it’s only making my SZ act up and making my mind race.
I think this is because of my abusers in the past always thinking I was lying even if I told them the truth when situations like this arise.
I like to think I’m slowly getting better though, my wife tells me that over the past 2 years I’ve started to finally be able to somewhat stand up for myself.
It also helps that I have an alter that almost never gets scared so I switch with him in times I desperately need someone to handle a tough social situation.
Sorry for the long post, I feel like I needed to vent this
I clam up a lot too when things are stressful. Which in turn makes things even more stressful. Because I’ll want to say something but the words just don’t come.
It’s good one of your alters is willing to step in for social/scary situations!! I know I’m thankful for my alter that deals with the social side of things. Even if he’s a bit of an ass.
I understand this feeling all too well I’m sorry you’ve dealt with this too (hugs) just try to remind yourself that not everyone is like them.
I’m glad to hear that you are improving though!! Just keep doing your Best! I’m rooting for you!!
I know the feeling.
If someone is being quiet and/or seem annoyed, I end up afraid to say anything for fear of annoying them, and then people usually get annoyed that I’m so quiet…
Most people have a “fiight or flight” response to stress, I have a third one. “Freeze”.
I freeze up and become passive.
I also “clam up” in many social settings. I think it’s me, not the other people. But when I feel welcome and comfortable I can socialize in other settings.