My mantra is about forgiveness. I feel like a hypocrite, I do not forgive my mom for her neglect and my missed opportunities.
I’m really bad at forgiveness too. But I certainly won’t forgive anyone who’s not sorry.
I realized after writing this that my voices are unforgiving and vengeful, blaming me for all my missed pleasures.
It is not necessary to forgive if your hate doesn’t consume you. It is possible to live a life where you can dismiss the past without it having to control your present. This helps if you can’t actually forgive properly. It certainly helps me.
cos i forget
My voices hate me for never having girlfriends, a job, etc., etc. Who else are they going to hate? Themself? I am he. I have not been in touch with myself since I got ill, so I just never knew I cared. Now my Self is my ego( egotistical )and I now have a new Self. I have proved unworthy of myself by my bad sportsmanship. I am the new me and I have won.
That’s awful that the voices “hate you”.
I agree with labratmat.
I hope, if your on medication, that is starts helping you feel better.
If your not on medication; I hope these voices that your having, become a “forgiving” type.
Best of luck to you, @Jinx .
Medicine has never helped with hallucinations. It just makes the feelings better. I think I repressed a lot of things and they became my shadow self and that’s my voices. But I do believe my true self was replaced along with it. I proved myself unworthy.
Sometimes, you need to have the “feeling better”, sensation; to heal or move forward.
By what you say, you were “replaced for proving yourself unworthy”; would be great to start a talk with a therapist.
Therapy might be a good avenue, since you don’t take medication.
I struggle with forgiveness very much myself. My mom for emotional neglect, but even more so the insurance companies that screwed me for 7 years. It’s very hard to forgive someone, when they genuinely mean you harm on purpose
Just when I think I’ve Let It Go finally, something reminds me of it and I’m pissed off again. It’s a tough go for sure
I read somewhere that forgiveness is not like pounding a gavel, and pronouncing someone innocent. You have to forgive them over, and over, and over again
I take an anti psychotic/ mood stabilizer, anti anxiety med, an antidepressant, and a med for side effects. I am very sick, I could not live long without medication.
I think its ok to feel like that.
I too have hallucinations regardless of meds and dosage.
Its like a part of me.
But I try as much as I can to stay focused on being in peace.
I had girlfriends,and you missed nothing.
Just try hard not to let hallucinations defeat you,like me.
I cant do a single thing without a voice.
I have always been too forgiving. The only thing I will ever thank the voices for is that they help me not be so forgiving at times.
Usually I feel upset for a few days and work on whatever happened to me, and then I reach forgiveness. I think that is my personality.
Forgiveness is not for the one who’s forgiven but for the one who forgives. I would try to forgive your mom you will find that by forgiving her you will set yourself free.
I’ve heard that forgiveness isn’t a matter of suddenly feeling love for the person who hurt you, but just a matter of not obsessing on the wrong they did to you. When you obsess over past wrongs they are taking up space in your head and not paying rent.
I appreciate your comments, especially the last two. I feel like my spirituality is on hold now that I know for sure I resent my mom. No one ever said I had to forgive absolutely everything, but I always felt it very important. I don’t know what to do, except take a very long break from talking to my mom on the phone.
I forgive my mother. It’s hard to forgive strangers whose hobby is harming you always.
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