Un sure about going to three week dual diagnosis program

My nurse today brought up a three week treatment for both my psychosis and my cannabis use. I would really like to see my psychosis disappear and treatment for pot use would probably do that. But I am also not sure if I will have the motivation to continue on sober after treatment which would be best for my recovery. Hopefully treatment would give me some tools to say no to my friends when they offer.

Some reasons I wouldn’t want to go are I get paranoid and think my roommates are going to kill me, I hear ghosts in hospitals, I have bathroom anxiety, these factors makes extended hospital stays uncomfortable.

I got clean in 1990. A big part of my recovery is not hanging out with people who use and not going to places where drugs are being used. You don’t
want to be around people and places with drugs because the temptation to use will just chip away any resolve to stay clean

That’s exactly my problem all my friends use and I am not sure if I could make the lifestyle change needed. I also don’t need a three week program to tell me that it’s my association that needs changed, but maybe it would help to get me to a place where I would be willing to let go of old friends.

Yeah, change is hard for everybody. I know that it is easy for me to say, “Yeah, you just got to drop all your using friends”. But I know how hard it is in real life. But if you could somehow do it then it would really help.

The early part of sobriety is when we are more vulnerable to relapse. It’s when we are most fragile. Something that might help is that AA, CA and NA tells you not to think about how on earth are you going to stay clean and sober for the rest of your life. This is where the oft quoted principle of “Just take it one day at time” comes into play. It’s too discouraging to think ahead of a life time of sobriety. So don’t get ahead of yourself. Just put one foot in front of the other and concentrate on today and not ten years into the future

If you are serious about sobriety, I would strongly, strongly recommend reading the basic text of AA, also fondly called “the Big Book” by AA members. It is not a hard read and it’s not long a book but it has a wealth of information about recovery and how AA works and the history of AA and just a lot of aspects of alcoholism. CA, NA and other 12-step programs have their own textbooks about recovery but AA is the original book that all other 12-step programs base their programs on and it is very helpful in recovery. Even if you decide not too go the AA route, I would recommend reading :The Big Book" to educate yourself about alcoholism and addiction. It has the 12 steps and 12 traditions of AA inside and a very important thing is that at the end of the book, it has personal, first hand, stories by recovering alcoholics. This book could save you a lot of future misery and it might possibly save your life. Seriously.

As schizophrenics our lives are impossibly difficult.

But do you realize that in a split second you’re life could get a hundred times worse if you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time doing drugs or your with people doing drugs and a cop stumbles upon you smoking weed or doing other drugs or doing something illegal and puts you in jail? You may think your life is out of your control right now but do you realize how much control you will lose if you go to jail? Once your in jail the system owns you and they will own your life and will control you for the next 1 or 5 or 10 years. You do WHAT they say to do. And you do it WHEN they say to do it. Anyways, this just some stuff to think about and I hope it helps. Recovery is it’s own reward. I hope things work out for you.

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