Also sometimes I know the answer, don’t want to hear it and get my answer and I have to listen so this community really helps me to put things into perspective.
I do this a lot. I also type my angry thoughts out and then read them over to help figure out what I am actually upset about, and then edit it to communicate more productively. For example, an angry first thought might be something like “you’re being a huge effing jerk!” But then after much thought and editing, what I actually say to the other person is something more like “When I have a headache, I still want to be able to make dinner for everyone. I cannot be in rooms that are noisy when my head hurts, so I can only cook dinner if you stay quiet while you’re in the kitchen.”
“The most heated bit of letter writing can be a wonderful safety valve - providing the wastebasket is somewhere nearby.” ~ Bill Wilson, co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous.