Two schizophrenics walk into a bar

Yeah i was. I thought I seen something in your b"ear"d

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‘‘I am Legion.’’

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How many mindfulness therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

‘We should all just accept the lightbulb the way it is.’

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We shouldn’t judge the lightbulb, just let the thought that it doesn’t work float in and out of your consciousness!

Without reacting to it or judging it!

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How many Scientologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

‘All these people going around trying to change lightbulbs is just one big conspiracy. There is nothing wrong with the lightbulbs!’

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Holy Crap. Tttttttt

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How many Catholic priests does it take to change a lightbulb?

‘As long as the lightbulb never enjoys anything then it’s fine.’

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The chief physician at a mental institution asks a patient claiming to be Napoleon Bonaparte how he reached that conclusion.

“God told me that!”

Another patient interferes: “Certainly I did not!”

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How many Catholic priests does it take to change a lightbulb?

‘That would be an ecumenical matter.’

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  1. But hide all the altar boys while they’re doing it.
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OK maybe I just found this funny because it was sort of random. I laughed at the brutal honesty. It is harsh but truthful.

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Well, he’s entitled to his opinion. Doesn’t make him right.

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All opinions are like arseholes,
Everybody has one,
and they all stink.

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A bartender wasn’t looking where he’s going and walks into a horse and says, “Excuse me, pardon me, but why the long face?”

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Hilarious! I’’ve heard that joke!

A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. The bartender says ‘is this some sort of joke?’.

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What’s brown and sticky?

A Stick !:grimacing:

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?

A stick !

Aw, it was funny to me…

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto

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Don’t worry, if I was in second grade again I would be cracking up and telling all my friends.

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