Two schizophrenics walk into a bar


#61

Yeah i was. I thought I seen something in your b"ear"d


#62

‘‘I am Legion.’’


#63

How many mindfulness therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

‘We should all just accept the lightbulb the way it is.’


#64

We shouldn’t judge the lightbulb, just let the thought that it doesn’t work float in and out of your consciousness!

Without reacting to it or judging it!


#65

How many Scientologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

‘All these people going around trying to change lightbulbs is just one big conspiracy. There is nothing wrong with the lightbulbs!’


#66

Holy Crap. Tttttttt


#67

How many Catholic priests does it take to change a lightbulb?

‘As long as the lightbulb never enjoys anything then it’s fine.’


#68

The chief physician at a mental institution asks a patient claiming to be Napoleon Bonaparte how he reached that conclusion.

“God told me that!”

Another patient interferes: “Certainly I did not!”


#69

How many Catholic priests does it take to change a lightbulb?

‘That would be an ecumenical matter.’


#70
  1. But hide all the altar boys while they’re doing it.

#71

OK maybe I just found this funny because it was sort of random. I laughed at the brutal honesty. It is harsh but truthful.


#72

Well, he’s entitled to his opinion. Doesn’t make him right.


#73

All opinions are like arseholes,
Everybody has one,
and they all stink.


#74

A bartender wasn’t looking where he’s going and walks into a horse and says, “Excuse me, pardon me, but why the long face?”


#75

Hilarious! I’’ve heard that joke!


#76

A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. The bartender says ‘is this some sort of joke?’.


#77

What’s brown and sticky?

A Stick !:grimacing:


#78

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?

A stick !

Aw, it was funny to me…


#79

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto


#80

Don’t worry, if I was in second grade again I would be cracking up and telling all my friends.