Turning bad experience into positive

In early march I became suicidal and entered the hospital because I got violated and tricked by an internet sexual predator. It was very disturbing and I felt like I was violated really bad. Not physically. But still. It was very traumatic. I knew I didn’t wanna kill myself so I checked myself into a hospital right away. I initially had nightmares and stuff. Felt like I trust nobody. But I got treated quick for the ptsd. I went into the hospital made some friends. It was a public diverse hospital. I had a great experience. Became more accepting of others. Made peace with the hospital. I ended all codependency issues I once had because of the sexual harassment I faced. Don’t trust people anymore. Deleted all dating profiles. Stopped seeking a girlfriend because of it. Man that person was sick. Very very sick. I was thinking of pressing charges but decided not to.my ptsd symptoms went away quick. Even though my pdoc did diagnose me with it. I lost some faith in humanity but gained some faith in other senses based on the good hospital experience. For once I wasn’t in pain for most of the hospital stay. Was only there 6 days but still… I made a positive out of a bad situation. Proud of myself for it. It was a setback but ever since then my life has improved a lot.


it’s an amazing thing, turning misfortune into fortune. good job, bud. it shows an ability to self-care.


What??? No women raped me. I got violated by a guy pretending to be a woman on the internet. And even if I did get "raped by a woman "… not all guys would think that’s a good thing…my body is no ones temple. You’re the only person I’ve talked to who hasn’t been super supportive and empathetic of what happened to me.

how did you not pick up on the fact it wasn’t a women?

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I had codependency issues and wanted to believe it was a women. Hindsight is def 20/20 and I should have known it was some sick person. But at the time I was gullible. I had too much faith in humanity to think such a sick person would exist. Sometimes u gotta live before u learn. Now my codependency issues are no more. Which is why it was a good thing. I don’t care but I can’t blame myself and pretend it didn’t happen.

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[quote=“eeee, post:5, topic:81451, full:true”]6
how did you not pick up on the fact it wasn’t a women

Pretty easy to do online.

@Goyankees, i had a similar experience a few days ago on 7cups. PM me if you wish.

Edit: lol you might not be able to PM because your member status is on new. so i’ll share what i have to say here.

i ran into a similar situation, a few days ago. i had a conversation with someone online who i thought was a woman. i used words like “Miss” and “ma’am” a lot. but i never asked specifically if the person was a female, nor got a direct answer.

it’s easy to make mistakes when i’m desperate.

it’s usually easy to identify female onlines. asking indirect questions about fertility is one way. like hinting “do you have any kids?” or if neither of you have transmittable diseases, you can ask about condoms. if a woman prefers no condom, then they might not be a born woman. constantly using female titles like “Miss” or “ma’am” is another thing that might crack the ice and intimidate them. also if the woman is not straight, then that might be a sign that she wasn’t a born woman. also, women are said to have a low libido and to gravitate or have little to no interest in sexual talk. so if the conversation is getting too good, too quickly, there’s a chance you’re being conned. the more indirect and disguised your questions are, the better chance of catching them off-guard during their act.

again, all of these signs can be easy to overlook when I’m desperate.

but note that sexuality is a very complex thing, even due to genetics. there are people born with features that can be both masculine and feminine to other people. and some women are naturally infertile.

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Yeah that should have been my sign. S(he) Also convinced me to send nude pics. I will never seek an online relationship again probably. The sad part is this “girl” was perfect that he created. So i really wanted to believe it. Lesson learned.

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You can’t trust everybody but for your own sake, don’t let one bad egg influence how you live your life. He isn’t representative of the whole human race. Don’t focus on how evil just one guy is. Focus on how many good people there are out there. Think how nice everybody in AA meetings were to you. I realize that guy traumatized you.


Yeah well I met good people in the hospital right after which cheered up my disposition. One lady I’ve befriended. She’s 53 years old and lesbian so no sexual interest and we go for walks together. I don’t trust ppl on the internet as much anymore though at all. Like I trust ppl on this board but doubt I’d meet up unless I knew them for years. I think ppl with substance and or mental health issues I tend to trust morealot of the time if I meet them in a clinical or supportive setting.

I am so sorry you experienced this @Goyankees. Please don’t let this experience color your perception of all gay people. Most gay people are honest, hard working and law abiding people. You just happened to run into a crook and a con artist and rapist. He was not representative of everybody.

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OH na I don’t think he was gay. He claimed he was straight. I think he was just really sick. Definitely don’t hold anything against gay people even if he was gay. There’s bad people in every demographic. And good people too in every demographic. I’m well aware of this at this point… thanks for your empathy though :slightly_smiling_face:



I’m sorry that happened to you.

Living well is the best revenge.


I’m sorry man. That’s an awful thing to have to go through. You seem to be dealing in a healthy and proactive way, though, and I’m glad for that.