Tunnel vision

My friends often remark on how oblivious or unobservant I can be…I can go a whole bus ride not realizing a friend is sitting next to me for example…or pass them on the street…likewise I’ve had cases where my mom has painted a whole room a different color and I don’t notice…

I feel a lot of times I am so busy looking at what is in my mind that I become blind to the outside world. This evening I felt that as I wandered in the dark outside. I was not seeing the streets in front of me but a dark and overgrown maze…my demons chasing me through, calling out to me cheerfully, threatening to drag me to hell…and I stumbled through it, immune to the cold or the sights of the physical world around me…

What a strange thing

I’ve had some vision issues. My peripheral vision has been getting real bad. I have to look right at someone to see them. Can’t glance at anything. I surprise people passing me due to my inability to glance. They think “huh? he want something.”

And I feel like I’m looking through shattered glass when I don’t wear my glasses. Like I have this blurriness at such a wide variety of distances. Bad depth perception.

As far as hallucinations go, I always see a dreamy haze. Makes any day look creepy.

Yeah, I zone out a bit. But nothing like I did at the start of my treatment. Think it’s the sedation of the AP’s along with all the thoughts bouncing around in our heads. We can work a little on fixing somethings we dwell on so there not on our mind all the time. That allows us to sometimes lower our dosages helping the sedation. Think time helps heal.