Tuning into people is a new thing for me. Didn’t realize that understanding body language to its accuracy was possible. Simply because I was more symptomatic and less observant cognition problems you know? Putting everything on ignore is simple for me. Just shut everything down. Things are inanimate. When I consciously choose to look up, as simple as it sounds things become animate. It gives me sense so I can make sense. It’s a cognition thing. It always feel like social progression. Not every sz person out there has a similar recovery path and I apologize if my style is just venting it out there. If I don’t look and think first I end up worse. But my illness makes it hard to for example body telepathy. It seems to always have the one up on me. My next recovery step is to figure it out. That’s what makes it such a recovery. Farewell Until Next time!
I am liking your new post lately. I’ve been sort of on the park bench being an observer of people and studying in my own odd way.
I know when I was really loosing my grip on lucid and/or when I was completely covered in wax and couldn’t feel anything I didn’t care, or try to interact too much with people around me.
More symptomatic less observational. But when I started waking up and looking around the world outside my head, I’ve been feeling like I’m behind. I have a lot to learn. I’m trying to catch up.
Sometimes I think I’ve got it. Other times, I have no idea where I am in relation to other people.
As long as we keep our eyes and mind open, we’ll get there soon enough.
Thank u J. Outside of the house and into nature like the neighborhood observing kids play. Them riding their bikes past you. Saying hi, or when they stop trying to create a conversation it becomes a wonderful encounter. Each encounter with an individual of nature is special in that you are controlling your appearance as to what they see in you. Often times I can tell if people are in that funk and having a bad day they are non responsive to a good mood you may be radiating. Sometimes for other people to get you need to react in a way that is super friendly to shake away the other persons internal negativity. But you can’t be like that unless you are genuinely experiencing a great mood, one strong enough it rubs off onto other people and they become affected.
Kids are highly responsive beings. They look at you and react in their instinctual way. You can’t change their impression of you unless you play a role of a figure someone they like. It’s personality, enthusiasm and not hiding but sharing deep emotion in a way that is non threatening.
That must be great to be out in the park.
That reminds me of about 6 months ago, my sis brought a new friend over who was having a bad time. At first I didn’t know what to make of her and I was getting a bit tense. I was getting pissed off with this “cold, snotty girl who wouldn’t talk” But this is a friend of the kid sis, in my home…
So instead of going to hide in my room and ignore her… I went into the kitchen, gathered myself, took a breath and tried to go back out there and be nice.
when I was trying to be nice to her she got closer, hugged on to me and just began to sob. My shirt got wet. I was really getting scared as this girl just kept crying and crying. I was able to get her to stop when I offered her some ice cream. But I really misread that one. She was really having, not just a bad day, but a bad life.
Now I remind myself of her when people aren’t very friendly back at first. I just leave it an not take it personally. Plus, I don’t want strangers crying on me all the time. 
I’ve started to incorporate the word ‘snotty’ to describe people of that behavior. I get uneasy when people stare me in the eyes too long. You had to let your kid sis friend drop her shield and when it did everything just flowed out. Thats amazing. Man were people snotty assholes to me today. Especially in the gym I’d tried chatting it up. And they were like not as friendly as I. So a good guy came over and we talked about snotty people for 30 minutes. I myself am a snotty person, its hard to reverse that malice. People just dont drop their guard. I say ■■■■ I regret all the time, its like a constant ass whooping.
You’d think I would of learned by now, and I have, been making astronomical improvement is socializing. Its so much about paying attention it overloads my circuits. Its crazy but I been on like this social buzz, chatting with FB friends I’m normally quiet with, playing soccer with children, whose parents don’t even play with. I had so much social things going on I had to remind myself to take a rest and eat something.
Its like a blessing from god since this is what I always wanted. And the crap past cognitions of a symptomatic lesas observant man is behind me now brah. I just worry saying things to women too confidently that I come off as a dick. Well thats its for now yo, i got to listen to whats going on in my own house. pz and thanks for reading bless u all.